Dating Aquarius mies

30 [M4F] CT/NY - Looking for like minded adventurers, thrill seekers & fun bonding friends

2020.11.27 04:30 beaver-damn 30 [M4F] CT/NY - Looking for like minded adventurers, thrill seekers & fun bonding friends

Hello, I never posted on here before, so, Pop my r4r cherry. TL;DR: Selfies link on bottom
Reason: So yea Im 30 & my 20's skyrocketed by. I've always been a socially active person but kind of gave that up when I started my business back in 2015. In order to succeed & make a name for myself in my area I had to sacrifice a lot of my time, money & energy in to my junk removal service, moving & antiques dealer business. Over the years idk if it was age or my work ethic, but I essentially never made time for friends, dating or a social life, and in turn kind of feel lonely now. I want to start doing fun things again! The weird thing about this coronavirus & quarantine thing is that when you were already lonely to begin with, its not easy seeing everyone else who were socialites be lonely & feel like the hope for quality friendships, relationships, and general socialization are slipping out of the window.
About Me: 30 years old but feel like im still 21. 5'6" height, 156lbs. Active, average build, muscular but dont show off. Brown hair (kinda balding), hazel eyes. 50% Italian & 50% Norwegian. Confident, AQUARIUS. COVID Negative. Adventurous, thrill seeker, OCD, ADHD (prescribed), can either be energetic or flat out lay on the couch mode. Spontaneous. Been called weird, monotone, funny, hard working, cool. I own & operate a pretty crazy business in the upper Fairfield CT & Westchester NY counties. I keep it real, its a lot of work, time, commitment & money but I have fun with it & make it work, fairly successful for being 30 & living / being in business in this area. I can come off as pushy, weird, and fast paced, its just in my personality & nature.
Hobbies: I dont get much free time, but when I do (trying), I like to meet new people, go new places, try new things, experiment...metal detecting is fun, traveling, road trips, thrifting, estate sales, flea markets, auctions, finding good food spots. Sports are fun to watch, games are fun to play, listen to good music on in the background.
Seeking: Someone to talk to, friends, date, maybe relationship. Ages 21-35. Preferably local to upper Fairfield & Westchester counties. Someone who is fun, wild, a little crazy I can deal with but knows when to be serious. Outgoing, teach me or show me something new, challenge me, keep me motivated, surprise me! I kind of like it when females show the lead or are a little bossy, its cute! Ideally pretty (like a 6-9 🔥), slim or regular build. Nerdy & smart brunette, basic blonde. Whatever, Im down to talk online with people I click with, but prefer you'd show your face sooner than later.
Winter months are my slow months, so AMA, HMU, Send me your favorite ben & jerries flavor, a fun or weird fact, what makes you different than other girls, & your favorite color / zodiac sign? Random is my middle name.
Me (pics)
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2020.11.23 03:14 yoke112145 I want my Virgo back help

I want my Virgo guy back!(we were never dating) But he’s impossible, is it healthy to manifest this guy? What should I do, to get the convo going again! Need Aquarius Virgo couple tips!
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2020.11.15 06:28 WhoAteMyBagel What's happening?

A very cute girl asked my friend (who works with her) to give me her number. I was super excited, I've been single for about 5-6 years now due to full time school and full time work. We had an official first date, I was too nervous to kiss her. Apologized after I got home and said I was just nervous.
We kept talking/texting and trying to make plans but she cancelled twice. About 2 weeks after our first date I went over for a movie. I held her hand, but she was real dead handed. When she went to the bathroom and came back she did not reinitiate hand holding. So, I'm like okay she's not interested.
After the movie we're talking, some minor and some major stuff. She's unsure about what she can handle right now, I tell her it's fine if we're friends, no pressure. She's cool with it. I be supportive about her journey and let her know she's doing good things for herself now and it will pay off.
When I get up to leave we walk to her door and I open it. We both went to give each other a hug, she hangs on longer, and then when she pulls away she begins kissing me. I thought it'd be a kiss, but it's full on kissing me continually. This goes on for several minutes. She pulls away, shuts the door and takes my hand and we go back to the couch. We're making out and cuddling for a good 20-30 minutes. It's pretty hot but I'm full on confused.
She is running her hands over me and says that she thinks if we have sex I'd blow her mind (because I'm older and more experienced than her.) We don't have sex though, I leave walking on air.
Next morning, she texts, thinks because of all her issues we should be friends. I confirm by asking platonic or FWB, and she says platonic. I'm bummed.
We still text, she sends sexy pictures occasionally and I don't hide the fact that I'd like them. I want at least FWB, preferably dating. She says when she returns from vacation we should hang at my place. Will making out happen again?
She's confusing me and insists that things might change. Thoughts? I'm about 15-16 years older than her. She's 25, bisexual and Aquarius. She sought me out, but she does have life issues. Do I just enjoy the ride for what it's worth?
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2020.11.09 18:25 astroworldf How to be sure if I'm really aro?

This question has been bothering me for a while now, and sometimes I get really confused when the topic is my sexuality. I'm 21 year old and I never have been in love before, I already had relationships and hung out with different people, but I never felt like wanting them in my life for more than two weeks or less. i also get annoyed easily when my family asks me when will I meet a person (they don't care about the person's gender, they just want to see me dating), because I don't feel the need to, I don't feel like being traped inside a relationship that needs a lot of attention and emotional support. So, when I was 19 I started to look for answers and then the aro community were brought up to me, making me feel valid. But I still ask myself sometimes if it is really right, like, what if I'm just confused, or how they say "you just didn't find the right person yet"? People even blame my zodiac sign (aquarius) and my mbti type (entp) to justify my lack of romantic emotions and coldeness, but I know I am not like that, I'm actually warm with my loved ones and friends, my problem is the romantic side of myself, it feels inexistent. Is this something aro people can relate a lot?
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2020.11.08 10:13 NTekNiklaus Why did the Leo female keep doing this to me?

This happened in middle school back in 2017, and as I still deal with the traumatic effects to this day this has just been a question I have been dying to get answered.
Short version here:
I came back to my old school after being forced to go to another school. I had a nasty habit of missing school a lot, but it worsened later in the year after I get in a car crash. Let's stop here for a moment.
I am a Cancer w Pisces Moon & Capricorn rising, autistic, and I was shorter than a good majority of the people. Pretty much the nerd type, but in later times before I left school from mental health (related to this, actually), I was well known by all the more popular kids and they were cool with me. I shouldn't have fit anybody's demands.
Other person is a Leo female w Aquarius moon (Rising unknown), literally queen of the room who sat at the front of the class and got along with that rooms teacher just fine, moreso every teacher in the pod. Body would literally attract everybody, let's just put this into perspective she has 2000 followers on Instagram.
I go up to get missing work, Leo asks why I didn't go to school day before out of the blue. As it was, I said unplanned vacation and go back. Fast forward to a time me, her and 1-2 others had to go to another room for something. Now she turns around and randomly asks me "Hey kids, do you know what sex is? How babies are made", that should have been exactly what she said but I don't remember. I can't go into specifics for what she did right in front of me but it just felt like it was purposeful attention-wise for me, as it wasn't necessary for her to do so. It might have not been for attention, but it definitely was very questionable given the criteria.
Minor things here and there, but one of the things I remember is her just blurting out "it's been a bad year for me too" after I had to speak to a teacher and it got bad.
Lastly, I was managing a laptop rack and took peoples stuff. She came downstairs to return the laptop and after I did so, she thanks me and pets me on the head, and says "Make sure to come to school tomorrow".
As somebody that was quiet and bullied frequently (before I became more popular, at least) why did she do this, seriously?

I have both of our star charts, and the person in questions social media if required, but DM me for both of those.
I followed her and eventually November that year I handed her a note saying I liked her and bolted (hey, the rush of trying to get away is actually fun tbh). I wish I put more reasoning and not just 4 words though. Eventually I get talking to her and she claims she only likes black men, which yes was true, but as I further explain this given her (undoubtly truthful) behavior toward me, something was up here.
Eventually I find her stuff and figure out, she's in foster care, but luckily a foster home and not worse which eventually did happen. I felt bad for her and I go all out trying to sympathize for her, and eventually one day before the end of 2017 if not at the beginning of 2018, I tell her that I'd simply be there for her, and her reply I remember to this day: "And I'll have you know I don't have a boyfriend right now". She was going through an abusive relationship with some other guy and were on and off, and she did ignore me for 3-5 days until she tells me she hasn't been taking her antidepressants and comes in and checks on me. This ended a week or two later as she was forced to block me since they got back together. This leads to me lashing out on her in Feburary just upset so much, and this was a mistake as it showed upset in me which made her not want to be responsible for another "broken heart". All chances of truly dating her faded after that point (and yes I did ask her out and failed), but we became best friends after that, the BEST person in my life really. She seemed to cause trouble or something and in April she moved to a group home where communication was pretty much impossible (phones disallowed until 14), and that did lead me to get addicted to her to the point she left to never return.

In November I was suffering through already enough mental health and I learn that her and her 6-8 other siblings got all back together and moved west to Las Vegas, just as I manifested the month before which is seriously mind wrecking to say the least. But time passes, state takes them back 6 months later because some TV show stuff went wrong and she's in FL again. It was at this point I emailed her how much I regret everything and after being wordless for a few days comes back. That lasted a week, because she was again in a group home with the same fucking issues. I got really angry at her but to fast forward to now: She ran away a month later, roaming the streets of Tampa prostituting herself, gave me another failed chance because she was holding grudges on how I called her out for her bullshit, got caught last Feburary, ran away again and is still on the run now. She's not the person I remember, and as a Cancer I can't put into words how much that hurts.
She somehow kept tabs on me, starts that weird convo, and in all other instances she steps in and tries talking me, and when I try getting back with doing her a minor favor, she goes as far as laying her hands on me, she WANTED me to come to school more often and was somehow curious with me in a way. I asked a Sagittarius friend who knew her as well (he's 6ft and on the football team, but I think he's autistic as well) and he said she just hugged him after holding a door.
And it only showed more during friendship, she protected me when other people were antagonizing and was even willing to fight somebody for me, unbelievably loyal and I apparently had a high point in her life, and literally helped her get rid of her ex. I am a socially challenged person pretty much, and she didn't CARE about being with the weird kid myself, and showed great interest in my knowledge of niche hobbies and told her family all about it. Normally people would just be spamming "oh cool" or something similar when I talked about them, and she DIDN'T. She SHOWED interest, she brought up things going with it. Need more things? Asked me for pictures of me as a child, I think even calling them cute iirc. Laughed and went as far as blushing for every single shitty thing I came up with, which was a lot by the way. Again, still observing minor things and advising me on them. She brought up future plans for us like hanging out in the nearby Barnes & Noble, and tried coming to my house after I offered her to but was unable (other plans).
All of these instances, according to MULTIPLE articles on such topic, shows that she definitely had something for me, but was it actually love before I messed everything up? Here is the one article that gave the most clues: https://pairedlife.com/compatibility/Signs-a-Leo-Likes-You

And again this is somebody who is BIGGER than me, above my league and somehow she finds interest in me like this? Now, our chances of actually dating were technically destroyed after I lashed out on her for the blocking. Every time after that she said she didn't want to hurt me, better off friends, the whole broken heart thing brought up again. Not one instance was anything else said on my looks or any other things. This is said by many as an excuse to say she doesn't want you, but with the past things she said including literally out of the blue saying she's single, it's hard to believe such a point, and this is a big defense I have to this day. I never understood what she was truly trying to get out of me, but with Astrology actually being true from my observations, explanation from other Leos, psychology of this general stuff, and a lot of other things, this is why it's still in my head that she wanted a relationship or something out of me somehow. I've tried asking her and she claims she doesn't even remember meeting me, and with the way things are going she's not fessing up to anything anytime soon, which is bad since I am a Mercury Leo and wish to know the ultimate truth. Maybe it's the universe trying to hide stuff.

But yeah.
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2020.11.06 16:38 Expensive-Eggplant-1 Aquarius and Scorpio

I'm an Aquarius (f) newly dating a Scorpio (m). So far, I have found this combination to be fascinating.
I am light, optimistic, and quirky, and he is mysterious and contemplative. We both like a lot of alone time and personal freedom, and I think this has benefitted us so far. My dad is also a Scorpio, so I wonder if I'm drawn to that because it feels familiar.
Anyone else have experience with a Scorpio?
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2020.11.03 03:56 BrownskinnedBeauty Is this Aquarius man into me, or has he lost interest?

Hey y’all,
To keep things simple, I’ve been friends with this Aquarius male for over a decade . We lost touch for a few years , then reconnected by chance about two years ago . I was always into him when we were younger , though the attraction was superficial as we were kids, but now we’re adults with developed personalities and I’m very into the man he’s become . The attraction was mutual when we were teens, but never took off.
Enter confusion .
When we first reconnected , he was always asking me to hang out . We went out for dinner (as friends though it ended up feeling like a date), and he was always asking me to hang out and do things . Very low pressure situations , but it was always just us alone . We had a movie night together, we’ve gone shopping together , and he was quite the gentleman, holding my bags without asking . He was very responsive to my texts , he even began calling me on the phone and we would talk all night about any and everything , from the goofiest things to the most intellectual things . Conversation just flowed and we always lost track of time . He was always attentive and interested in my life , and even opened up a bit about his. He does compliment me every now and then , and makes absurd flirtatious jokes. Everyone around us, people that don’t even know our history , say we have amazing chemistry and have even gone as far as asking me if we were dating, and telling me it’s obvious that he’s into me . He was usually the one initiating things , which led me to believe he was interested.
Enter more confusion .
I know Aquarian’s are socialites . They talk to many people , but have few true friends . I also know they value friendship before jumping into romance , as we as humans should . But it’s getting harder to read him now . He isn’t as responsive to my texts anymore , opting to leave me on read instead of responding, or giving very short responses when he was always in depth before . in person , he still jokes around with me and is very inquisitive about my personal life . But it’s damn near impossible to get a response from him these days unless we’re face to face . I know we’re adults and we’re busy. I mean hell, we both work a ton. I’m a woman who values space , I love my own company . I’m not needy . But I also don’t like being ignored without a reason, especially when he was much more responsive and interested before . Just last week , he was super excited about us doing something together , but now I’m feeling like a fool for sharing the excitement because he’s kinda gone cold? I’m almost 100% positive he doesn’t treat any of his other lady friends the way he treats me .
I know Aquarian’s are friendly in general so I don’t know if I misread our dynamic and he only sees me as a friend , or he WAS interested and no longer is , which would be odd because ONE week has passed . I don’t wanna say he’s completely disinterested because we still have good rapport in person, but being downright ignored when we aren’t together strikes me as odd , especially because we had such a good thing going for consecutive months , only for things to start feeling weird now . It almost seems like he spent months feeling me out only to decide in a week that damn, maybe I’m not all that haha! Just need some insight from the most mysterious men I’ve ever encountered .
TLDR: Aquarius man doing that hot and cold thing Aquarian’s do, and confusing me .
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2020.11.02 16:40 Thatonedumbpiscean Should I follow him on Instagram or not...

Okay so it’s this guy who lives on my street who I sayyyy I’m “intrigued” by but truth is I like the dude. We make awkward eye contact all the damn time and just won’t stop staring but I’m still not convinced whether I should do it or not because I get stared at all the time ya know?😂truth is. I’m a coward and I’m scared he would tell all his friends “wow lol I knew she was into me look” and that’s just flat out EMBARRASSING. So tell me some advice should I do it and have confidence with my shame orrr totally bail out. (Also does any Pisces have dating experiences with Aquarius?)
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2020.11.01 20:50 Oblivion_Man Leo and Aquarius relationship?

I am a Leo (m, 18) thinking a lot about my potential dating an Aquarius (f, 16) I am in love with.
thoughts and/or experiences of this kind of a match?
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2020.11.01 15:54 Melancholic_Soul Cancer Sun & Cancer Moon dating an Aquarius Sun/Aries Moon

This is my second time dating an Aquarius. The first one was Aquarius Sun / Pisces Moon. Honestly thought she was the love of my life, but we had a long-distance relationship and at the end there were alot of false promises and lies and infidelity.
This new girl I'm dating for the past month, we get along very well. Our conversations generally flow smoothly and we don't seem to get bored of each other. She's a very good listener, tends to ask alot of questions, good energy levels, pretty and petite type, doesn't talk to any other guy besides me and she made that clear for me.
But there are things, which despite knowing each other for two months, are recently starting to bother me.
1) She's not very affectionate. I need to feel needed, and I don't feel that way with her. We text on a daily basis... But that's about it. Not emotionally expressive or physically is a bit of a killer for me... I love holding hands, cuddles, kissing. I can wait for sex, but I love having someone who displays these things.
2) I literally have to initiate everything. Holding her hand or arm feels like a task. You know that feeling when you hold someone and they're not really holding/squeezing you back? That's how it feels.
3) She gets upset if her routine is broken. We had a desert camping trip, so we needed to be there before sunset. She was like I need more sleep, let's leave later. She tends to sleep alot.
TL;DR! - Are we destined to fail at this rate? Or should I communicate to her all these things and see if she would adapt? I DO NOT want to force her into what I need, because that would be unfair. Are Aries moon women generally like this and uncomfortable when it comes to being affectionate?
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2020.10.31 07:43 WildScorpio1024 Aquarius Man So Confusing

When I was in high school and college I used to hook up with this friend of mine. He definitely had feelings for me but it never went anywhere because he was immature and didn’t have his act together. We would sleep together, had amazing chemistry, and got along great. This went on for about 9-10 years in between other relationships. I eventually met someone and so did he and we lost touch except for social media. That was about ten years ago. Fast forward and we are both single again after two pretty long relationships and bad breakups.
My brother recently passed away and he reached out to me to offer his condolences since he’s known my family for so many years. We ended up getting together for a drink to catch up and it was one of the best nights ever. We both had a great time, there was so much chemistry and when we left he made it very clear he wanted to see me again...and me as well. We hung out two more times since then which were equally as great and then poof, he disappeared for like two weeks.
We don’t really text a whole lot except to make plans, but when we’re together we have really amazing, deep conversations for hours. We definitely still have chemistry too, although we haven’t slept together again, yet (not for lack of trying on his end). He talks about the future and alludes to me being around for future events, activities, etc., too. But I’m so confused as to why he doesn’t make more of an effort to see me.
He’s an Aquarius and has always been a free spirit, so I am aware that I have to just let him do his thing, but I can’t figure out if he’s actually interested in me. He will disappear for days camping or off snowboarding or whatever, which doesn’t bother me because I’m really independent too. But he rarely reaches out to me to make plans or hang out and if he does, it’s very casual or last minute. If I message him, he’s always super excited to hear from me, wants to make plans ahead of time if I suggest it, and always responds back within minutes...but I always have to initiate it.
He’s also made it very clear to me that he’s not dating anyone else, his lady coworker is “just a friend”, and he spends a lot of time on his own. I didn’t prompt any of this, he just offered all of that info up to me on his own.
From other Aquarius men, is he actually into me and just being a hot and cold Aquarius, or is he just using me to try and sleep with me again?
If it’s the first, how do I get him to be more consistent and make plans ahead of time? Should I keep reaching out to him or step back and wait for him to come back around to me?
I hate that this stuff bothers me but we have such a great time when we are together and I know this is something rare.
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2020.10.29 15:02 moonbby33 Does [insert sign] like me? Questions

So I notice this a lot in aquarius . Granted; Aquarian’s and Venus Aquarian’s tend to be more detached in romance, a lot of people are confused about their potential partners. But of course, you see this in any of the zodiac subreddits.
I personally feel really frustrated reading these posts. I’m extremely passionate about empowering people in dating, as I spent so much time fooling myself and not taking things for what they are. I think being into astrology - we are curious, truth seeking people. We look for the deeper answers... even when the truth is right in front of our face.
It doesn’t matter what someone’s zodiac sign is - if they care about you, you’ll know. If they want you in their life, you’ll know.
Whether it’s between me or my friends, I’ve experienced every sign truly wanting a relationship with someone, and every sign stringing someone along. The constant remains :
when someone wants you, you don’t have to question it.
There are certain signs that are more likely to be detached and emotionally unavailable, but that still means they are someone who is not ready for a relationship with you.
So save yourself the grief. Think about all the times you KNEW someone liked you. If there is confusion, uncertainty, and struggle - and you’re not even together - you already have your answer.
This is not about zodiac signs. We all have a human desire for love and companionship. We may want it at different times, and some may never be able to work through the traumas that push them to sabotage it when it comes. But it’s not about zodiac signs, and we should never use that as a way to justify someone’s indifference towards us.
Love & light💚
Just my opinion.
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2020.10.24 16:06 a_human_guy Aquarius and “randomly” leaving someone they love

I thought I’d write this being a Aquarius guy I see so many women come on here who have a story about a Aquarius leaving them randomly or out of the blue when things are going good. (SKIP TO BOTTOM FOR CONCLUSION)
I’m 19M and have dated 3 girls, ironically I was never into astrology until Covid and I realized my best relationships where with air signs. The best one being a Aries. All of them ended similarly where I myself was left or left them randomly.
My first girlfriend (Aries) I dated when I was 16 our love was so pure and we explored our identities together, had so much passion and liked to talk about our pain, happiness. An being my first time having sex we had sexual passion as well for young people it was almost as if we where married. However it become to a point where she wanted to talk every moment of every minute. As soon as I left school I had to text her or FaceTime her and if I didn’t do it the exact moment she would get sad. I felt incredibly guilty for things I could not control and she started getting mad at me if I didn’t wake up in time to say “good morning”. I loved her but as a person I needed space sometimes and not getting that turned me off because I then started to overthink about her and hyper focus on small details to the point I hated her so I just decided to leave because it was eating me inside to experience something like that.
My second girlfriend I dated, I felt comfortable being myself around her even though she was pretty “normal” I really liked small indie bands and “weird” movies exploring new ideas. I was writing poems and love letters to her. However one day after months of dating she randomly left says “hey I think your to nice to me so I found someone else I’d like to date” she then left and gave me no explanation for why and I felt terrible inside. I was being myself even though myself is weird, I wasn’t ashamed of who I was and she left me because of this. I felt like I couldn’t open up because who I was as a person wouldn’t be accepted after this .
My last relationship was good but ended from naturel causes it was long distance and we had separate life’s plus still young. However after this I became completely fine with being alone, if I was to be in another relationship it would have to be with someone who adds on to me which is why I’m single now. Cause I really don’t need to be with someone unless I truly wanna settle down and just be with them for the rest of my life.
CONCLUSION : Aquarius are not afraid of commitment however we’re also not afraid of being by our self so it make come off as we don’t care. We do care and if we love someone we think about that sometimes to much to our own fault so we need a little space when possible. We also feel comfortable being open and our selves so if you say something or insult our behavior it’s sort of like insulting our whole existence. Aquarius need to feel comfortable being free but also they wanna be free with you as well sexually, spiritually and any other way imaginable . I hope this helps
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2020.10.23 10:45 lostxindividual I have no self confidence/no self esteem and it’s affecting my marriage..help

Throwaway account for obvious reasons... I’m honestly not sure where to begin, so this will be extremely long. Some may even say I have written a book. Haha I understand I need therapy but I can’t afford it and I’m not sure where to turn. I’ll be describing a lot of my life events so that maybe it can paint a picture, and someone might can help explain as to why I am the way that I am. Either way, thanks in advance for sticking it out. (And if you don’t maybe it just helps me to write it all out)
Just to clarify, I hold no resentment towards anyone.
Some info upfront: I’m a white, 29 year old female. I have a huge heart which in turn makes me very sensitive. I care too much of what people think. I am a people pleaser. So much so, that I will go out of my way to not inconvenience someone, no matter the emotional or physical toll on me. I’ve never known how to defend myself (even when I’m completely in the right to) So I don’t do well at all with confrontation. I overthink everything. Absolutely Everything. Heaven forbid someone say something that actually makes you question something. My family would say I’m the funny/easy going one. I do always try to keep things lighthearted and positive. If it means anything, I’m an Aquarius and according to my husband, very much so.
So here goes... I grew up in a very religious household but with a very loving, close family of 6 (mom+dad & 4 girls) me being the youngest. Now when I say religious...I mean, we went to church every Sunday and Wednesday and if we missed it, there was a good reason. In my younger years I enjoyed going but it’s not like we were forced to read the Bible (although very encouraged). I guess I would say my mom did her best to shelter us from the evil world with keeping us in church and supervising everything we watched or did. If it wasn’t super kid friendly or about God, we probably couldn’t participate. Just a few, tiny examples: No Harry Potter, No Halloween-but the hallelujah festival at church. And ever since I can remember our Christmas tradition was to watch Home Alone. My parents would always fast forward through parts of the beginning because of the way Kevin talked back to his mom (and mild cussing). But my mom didn’t want us to think we could talk to her like that so..>>> We still watch it now, but finally no more fast forwarding haha My mom never even gave me the period talk..maybe she thought I was too young? But I was 10 years old running to one of my sisters because I thought something was terribly wrong. However I will say, my parents did their best to love us and support us financially and emotionally. They tried to put all 4 of us through Christian school as long as they could, but it’s quite expensive so we had to transition to public school. My first year of public school was in 7th grade. Overall, I would say my childhood was great. Nothing happened to me that would be so traumatizing that I feel it would have affected me now. (That I can remember anyway) I just didn’t understand how sheltered I was until high school and beyond. I did struggle in school, bad. My first grade teacher tried to talk with my parents about me not being able to focus, but I didn’t learn about that until I was about 17 and failing high school. Thanks to the “no child left behind” act, I was sent to the next grade but I was so far behind it was more beneficial to me to drop out and get my GED. Thinking on it now, MAYBE it was undiagnosed ADHD as a kid and it followed me? I’m not sure. Anyway, struggling in school for so many years made me (and still does) feel stupid.
Moving on... As long as I can remember, I have been very sensitive and I have had self image issues. First, my hair it’s naturally wavy/curly and frizzy. I didn’t learn how to manage it until late middle school when I discovered a flat iron. But then my teeth...so horribly crooked. The bottom looked like a train wreck and the top front two faced inward in the middle, making the edges stick out. I begged for braces but it just wasn’t something my parents could afford. (Side note-my oldest sister was going to get some, my parents paid for it but then she backed out and no refund..so maybe they were afraid I’d do the same?) So I found myself comparing other girls to me. How much prettier everyone else was, how much skinnier everyone else was. Now, I wasn’t obese by any means but I probably could’ve stood to lose 20 pounds or so. The problem is, I still do it to this day. About 6 years ago I bought Invisalign, but I got lazy (depressed?) soon after and my teeth have shifted halfway back-que teeth insecurity.
Now on to relationships...
I “dated” a few guys in high school. Taken lightly because it was almost elementary shit. I honestly didn’t have an attraction to the few but I knew I wasn’t gonna get the one(s) I liked. I guess I didn’t think I was pretty enough to. This one guy that I dated (I was in 9th he was in 11th) I actually liked him. We dated for maybe a month, and he said he was moving so we had to break up. He graduated at that same school. Never moved. I just wasn’t going to have sex (not that he asked but I’m assuming that’s what it was about now) I met my first serious bf in 11th. He was in 12th. 11th grade was my last year in HS. He graduated and moved 8 hours away for school. We dated for 5 months close by, and 7 months long distance. We lost our virginity to each other (only because I thought we would get married-VERY naive of me...) He lost interest after a little over a year and finally broke it off.
Somewhere in between this timeline, I was raped by a coworker at a party. That’s all I’ll say about that.
A while later, I met someone else..this relationship started off weird. He wasn’t off hand attracted to me, not because I’m really that god awful, but I just wasn’t his type. But we clicked as good friends and eventually he fell for me. Our relationship was fun and sweet but sexually awkward as hell. He said it in a playing manner but I’ll never forget the words that slipped from his mouth..”you have the potential to be hot” Meaning lose a few pounds, get some braces, and work on that hair more. Now I had already been insecure but he confirmed my insecurities. Making them worse. I wound up breaking his heart because virginity boyfriend came back around after a year and I still had feelings for him so I left this bf for virginity guy. And then We dated for another 2 years (long distance, mind you) and we grew apart. I took it hard and let’s just say I had a “hoe phase”. I looked for love in all the wrong places. I thought “if they sleep with me, they must be attracted to me, so maybe then they’ll get to know me and actually like me.” Fucked up thought process but that’s what it was.
A year or so later I met the Fiancé.
This is the relationship that fucked me all the way up. Hindsight, he was a very manipulative and controlling. We were together 5.5 years. Engaged for the last 2.5. At this point I’m working a dead end job and living day by day. No promises for the future and feeling lost. When we met he was so sweet and showered me with gifts and attention. And he didn’t even try to have sex with me the first time we met. I was pushing myself on him, for acceptance, and he was turning me away. I wasn’t sure how to feel. Turns out he was a very sensitive individual who would climax within a minute or two so he found an out in a wholllllleeeeeee different sexual field than I had never even heard of. (Cause ya know-Sheltered) He wanted to be cucked. I was to dominate him and while we never went as far as to have someone fuck me in front of him. He wanted me to find a fuck buddy and send him pictures/videos from the hotel. But even as submissive as he wanted to be, he controlled me. He played so many mind games. Man...You think this is a book so far? I had to ask permission for everything. He moved me 2 hours away from everyone and had me in the palm of his hand. There was no way I could support myself alone. If I went to visit family he was texting me almost an hour after I had gotten there wondering when I’d be home and that I needed to come “take care of him and love on him”. He literally wouldn’t eat till I came home to fix something. He would throw a fucking fit if I didn’t sit in the bathroom with him while he showered. Because that meant I didn’t want to spend time with him. He would criticize my breathing...like he would tell me if I was breathing too loud and to be quieter. Even though, I don’t think I was being loud?? I was responsible for buying groceries but he was soooooooooooo picky I literally would sit in the parking lot of the grocery store for 30 minutes or more crying and stressing over what to buy cause nothing was good enough. Our “regular” sex life was near nonexistent. He would have me sit in another room and text him about how I would dominate him. And I guess once I did good enough we’d take it to the bedroom and I’d dominate him. Why’d I stay so long and say yes to getting married? He threatened to take his life if I left. I was tired of playing dominatrix when I didn’t even want to be doing it in the first place. I wanted to make love..to feel love. Instead I’d be sad and frustrated and take it out on his ass...literally.. I turned to alcohol. I gained so much weight from it too. It was becoming a serious issue. He didn’t like when I drank. (Because honest me would come out and say how I really felt) So I started sneaking it. Just beer and fireball occasionally. I would get pretty drunk but could put on such a good poker face, he hardly ever knew. Sure I was caught a few times and the way he made me feel made me want to drink even more. All of my insecurities just amplified more and more. I wasn’t sure there was a way out. No one would ever want me for me. I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough, I have nothing going for me, I’m not pretty enough. Eventually, I was on the edge of suicide. I wanted to pull that trigger..I was so broken. He stopped me.
I asked if I could stay with my parents for a week or so to clear my head. And after I was home with my parents for a few days, I started feeling like weights were lifting off my shoulders. Then I realized, I couldn’t go back and I didn’t. He eventually packed my stuff (what he seemed essential to me) and brought it to my parents. Left out some stuff that was important to me but I guess I can live without it.
I was single and finding myself for about 5 or 6 months. Still fighting insecurities and drinking it away at bars. Which led me to my now husband. I wasn’t looking for anyone, but he approached me and we clicked. I was happy. For the first time since I could remember, genuinely happy. I quit drinking, lost 65 pounds, and was feeling great about myself (as best as I could). Still feeling insecure as all get out, he would reassure me and tell me I’m beautiful and all those nice things. It’s now been a little over 2 years since we started dating but we got married last December. (A super fun sporadic elopement) and then I got pregnant. I haven’t felt for anyone the way I feel about him. I’m so deeply in love with him there’s not one person who can stray my mind.
Before me, he was single for nearly a decade. He got way into porn and didn’t have to worry about if he got caught looking at someone or not. He claims porn ruined him. In February, I found some inappropriate messages between him and a coworker...completely shattered any confidence I thought I had...and then now also no trust... He said it was because it was someone who gave him shit back and he’s always had an attraction to quick witted women but he had no intentions on taking it anywhere. I am choosing to trust him. And yes I had caught him glancing a few different times at other women.. But each time I saw, I tore myself apart even more. I’m not pretty enough, my ass isn’t nice enough. And I’m trying to tell myself that his actions are not a reflection of who I am. He said he’s not a nice guy but he wouldn’t cheat. I did ask him to promise..but he said he couldn’t. He said, “I’d already feel like shit enough, I’d feel worse for knowing I was breaking a promise to you”. Even though, I thought that’s what marriage was..But I don’t know what all I can believe now, even though I try my hardest to trust what is said. But all the nice compliments he had given me are thrown out when I catch his shadow breaking it’s neck for some ass waking by. He said he’s trying to not be such a “pervert” but “when you don’t have to be conscious of it for so long, I guess it’s hard for you to backtrack.” Like he makes a conscious effort to not look...which makes me feel like shit in return. Kinda like I’m not pretty or good enough.
I get it, guys are gonna look. I’m not that stupid. But to the guys-if you’re really in love with a girl, is it really that difficult to not look at other attractive ones? Honest question.
We just had a baby 8 weeks ago and I know for a fact I’m dealing with postpartum depression as well as other things I’ve never learned how to deal with.
I do cry a lot more these days. But I was like this prior to pregnancy. If he takes a tone with me that isn’t clear to me that he’s happy or neutral, I take it like he’s mad at me and I did something wrong. Of course you’re going to get frustrated with each other...but I take it sooo personal. Then of course my self image has spiraled downward again since I’ve gotten lazy with my Invisalign and just had a baby and I’m trying to love my curls but they’re crazy.
What I’m leading to I guess is, my husband and I had a long discussion the other night. He said he doesn’t want a “weak wife”. Meaning I cry at the drop of a hat. He said he likes a woman who can “fight back” and cock an attitude if need be. He wants a woman with confidence and knowing she has self worth. He said he loves me but is not sure he could stay someone who thinks so lowly of themselves and has no backbone. He said by the way I react to him, from an outsiders perspective, they would think he beats me and/or belittles me. Or that I even had a horrible, abusive childhood. It sounds harsher in text than he put it. But I know exactly what he meant.
I honestly do not understand why I am so incredibly sensitive. I hate that I am.
I put it all out on the table for him though and was completely honest..not looking for pity.
I feel worthless Like a failure Like I’m stupid Like a whore Like I’m ugly Like a fuck up Like I’m broken Probably just about every negative thing you can think about yourself...I’m thinking it. And have done so for years.
Also, I have never held a hobby. I haven’t ever. When I was a kid I’d play video games with my sister but then it got boring too quickly. I usually would daydream and play outside. As I got older I would just sleep. To this day I can’t find one thing that will hold my interest. I have things I like and would like to do/learn (learn to play guitar, I’ve leaned a little on crocheting). I’ve tried a multitude of things..Like do hobbies come natural or do you have to make yourself do them? Have I just not found mine? I don’t know...I’ve always thought people that have their hobbies, have them because that’s their talent. ?
I just feel completely lost. Is there any hope for me to gain confidence and to love myself again? If you have at all been in my shoes, what steps did you take to recover? I feel if I can gain confidence, then I can gain a backbone. If I worked out and wore my Invisalign again, I would feel better about myself. But I greatly lack the motivation.
I’m so afraid I’m going to be a single mom one day...and I still love this man harder than I’ve ever loved anyone. My heart is breaking because my insecurities are driving him away.
And the thoughts of suicide...They’re there. Do I actually really want to die? I don’t think so. There’s no way I can leave my baby behind now. But I often dwell on the fact that I should’ve pulled the trigger. It’s not healthy to feel this way.
There’s so much more I could add as far as other events in my life, but I’m just going to leave it be. This post is stupid long as it is. So, If you did make it all the way through, and have questions, feel free to ask.
I just read it all again...I really fucking need a therapist. Please help.
submitted by lostxindividual to selfhelp [link] [comments]


2020.10.23 05:51 sporkafterdark Does this seem coincidental? (a little long!)

I apologize if this is too long. I saw a psychic a few years ago. I don't remember much of what she told me, but the comments she made about my love life stood out to me. She nailed it right on the head when she said that I was someone who took romantic relationships seriously, and that they were a huge part of my life. I was shocked she could tell because I put forth a detached, objective exterior when it comes to my love life, but secretly, it is the most important part of my life to me. I've always loved love and romance even as a little girl. When I found out I had four planets in the Libra sign (sun, rising, venus, and mercury) I felt it all made so much sense. So, when she told me I was going to be married by 25 (I was 20 at the time), I pretended to be surprised, but I always felt like I knew.
Though, there was a twist to it. She claimed that she didn't see much dating in my future, that she saw no one really "new" coming into my life. She said that she felt that I had energy intertwined with another person I already knew and that my marriage would be a deep relationship taking the next step. She knew I was there with my boyfriend and mentioned that it was most likely him if we had been together for this long already. Though, something felt wrong to me, and I questioned it immediately. Fast forward a few years, and he and I are no longer together after a mutual split due to differences in where we are in our relationship.
Where it gets super reachy to me is something that I am ashamed to admit, but I've had an ever going crush on someone I had a thing with years ago, right before I started dating my boyfriend. I had never felt the way I felt about him for anyone else. We stopped talking after realizing that he was going away to college and I'd be staying home, but I still always felt that there was something about him I couldn't let go of. In the beginning, very loving stages of my relationship with my boyfriend, I didn't think about him too much, just a thought of him on his birthday or if I saw him online, but once things settled down I felt incredibly guilty for fantasizing about running into him again and becoming friends one more time. I always had this reoccurring thought I couldn't shake that he and I would run into each other after he graduated college and somehow begin talking again. I thought maybe it was my own intuition guiding me, and that maybe the psychic was feeling his "energy" wrapped up in mine because I was still so hung up.
To make it weird: he just graduated college in the spring, and I am currently on the tail end of the mutual split. He has been in a long term relationship, but I've heard that he wants to relocate for work and she wants to stay home, and that they're "making decisions". Coincidentally enough I've also become best friends with his best friend in the last year by total accident. All of this is happening so fast that it seems planned. Then again, I could be completely reaching by thinking that maybe it's possible he is who she is talking about. Could it be that she was feeling his energy?
P.S if anyone is into zodiac signs and planetary influence, he is an Aquarius and that is all I know about his chart!
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2020.10.22 18:32 laffytaffy214 Dating a new person with my same birthday but a different year...

Dating a new person with my same birthday but a different year...
I've started dating someone recently (still very very new) but last night it came up that we have the same birthday one year apart - and I know this doesn't necessarily mean anything astrologically but our birthday is Valentine's Day. So it's definitely a weird, very specific one that has been particularly challenging for past significant others of mine. I don't know his birth time so I couldn't pull his chart but we are obviously the same sun sign, Aquarius.
Anything in my chart for some insight here? Is this a good thing or is too much Aqua Valentine energy insane?
https://preview.redd.it/jmu68yreaou51.png?width=748&format=png&auto=webp&s=1d3e1d1f1c4aa82e6a8d7c06033b42eb0233eed8
Edit: I'm learning! Just pulled a synastry chart below...
https://preview.redd.it/ggq7yhjflou51.png?width=748&format=png&auto=webp&s=c28704f22987467e6adc7f97b0e0366467975a22

submitted by laffytaffy214 to AskAstrologers [link] [comments]


2020.10.21 18:36 bluejen I need astrological success stories! Has anyone out there conquered poor aspects in their chart?

So I'm 29 (Sag Sun/Aquarian moon/Cancer rising) and going through my Saturn return. Speaking of Saturn, I have a 7th house Capricorn stellium involving my Mercury, Venus, Saturn, Neptune and Uranus. That and some other aspects in my chart (like Jupiter Square Pluto) have me feeling like I'll never conquer my esteem issues or ever having a success relationship. I've read it's typical for 7th house Saturn aspects to delay relationships, but, I'm nearly 30 and it's been 7 years ever since anybody I was interested in ever seriously dated me. I mean, that makes me a late, late bloomer, right? (Not by my standards, but by American cultural standards.)
I'm new to astrology and have been studying the aspects in my chart and while I'm still a little overwhelmed by all this info and perhaps reading the wrong information, simple Google searches make it seem like insecurity, over-idealizing romantic relationships (and thus having trouble picking the right guys and making them stick), and unstable relationships are a deep-rooted theme in my life. It's very scary to me because it all feels very true. In fact there aren't even that many positive aspects in my chart for me to be excited about.
I fear I'm getting too into my head about it though. On the one hand, I want to believe in astrology because well, it seems like a lot of it ring trues for me and it's just fun to study. But on the other hand, I worry that I put too much weight into it because I get depressed and dissuaded by my chart so easily. I have a hard time not feeling defeated by that 7th house stellium and feel like I'm going to be an unlovable freak my entire life and on top of that, will never even learn to like myself enough to not even care about dating. (Which is crazy because as a Sag Sun and Aquarius moon, I do actually have some fire in myself that keeps me positive and formidable and proud of my uniqueness.)
SO ANYWAY, TL;DR, I feel totally defeated by how my chart says I'll never find love within myself or within others, and I need to hear some success stories from people who have conquered negative aspects in their chart so that I can keep my chin up and know that I can take my power back and live a life free of anxiety, fear, self-doubt, and wandering loneliness.
submitted by bluejen to astrology [link] [comments]


2020.10.15 12:17 Haughtamale Need some insight into my boyfriend and I's placement

Hello, people of reddit! I'm pretty into astrology but I know there must be others here who know much more than I do and that can offer more insight into our charts.
I'm honestly so in love with my boyfriend. We're passionate, creative, independent individuals. But I also feel like I can trust him and we're super sweet together. The sex is bomb. 🔥 We have mutual interests and goals in life and we both seem very committed to making this thing work. We want to head in the same direction. Although.. we oftentimes are not on the same page. I'm more of a spontaneous go-getter, happy go lucky type, and he's brooding and serious and dark, and sometimes, just a plain drag haha. I do love him but that definitely gets in the way sometimes. My last partner was a gemini ( I'm an aries) so we were like best friends and laughed about everything and nothing was too serious, so this seems different for me. Intense in many good ways, but also, like, I wish my dude would chill the fuck out and relax and enjoy life. Lol anyway, here we go. How can we make this thing work out based off of our charts? Cause he's my honey and I think he's the best most sexy/ sweet/ smart lover there is :) Any recommendations are welcome!
My placements: sun - aries, moon- cancer, rising- pisces , venus- taurus. My mars is in aries as well.
My lovers placements: sun- scorpio, moon- aquarius, rising- sagittarius, venus- capricorn. His mars is in scorpio too.
Oh, we've been dating for two years. The only arguments we get into is him being kind of negative and judgmental and stubborn. And me being like, "life is amazing and there are so many opportunities, let's do whatever we want!!", And then him replying with like an hour long rumination sesh. Ugh. Lol
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2020.10.13 22:08 queercryptidz Vent: I don’t even find white men attractive...

So why the freck am I in a relationship with one? Why am I stuck here in a monogamist relationship when I ID as Poly?! Yeah it started off strong and was basically fueled by alcohol and binge drinking as core aspects of both of our personalities, but dang. It’s gone on so long now, and lock down has made it almost impossible to separate. I feel so not queer and 2020 has me stuck co-habitating with this frustrating white man I’ve been dating for 2 years.
And I just can’t ignore how much I want a sweet femme partner to go on picnics with, and touch their soft hair! And go on socially distanced dates. And UGH I just wanna be gaaayyy again. I miss dating anyone that’s not Cis- I miss how deep queer relationships have felt- I miss how good we can eat... And don’t get me started on the sex dreams I’ve been having and how glued I am to my vibrator when my current partner is at work.
I am obviously not living my truth- and already have such a hard time being firm on my boundaries and communicating unhappiness. I’m an Aquarius and would much prefer to just pack up my things and disappear... But I never know how to end things.
Anyway, this has been weighing on me and I needed to see it written out before I really knew how bad this is making me feel. If you’re still here, thanks for reading the rantings of a frustrated queer that’s getting sober and realizing how many mistakes I’ve made in the past 3 years.
Signed, BigTittyGothGFWanted
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2020.10.09 03:11 Thunderbolt294 I feel undatable

Okay I'm 24 M, straight, I work full-time and have a townhouse to myself, I drive and own a car.
My personality is more introverted, I'm quirky but very chill and get along with people very easily, I'm very loyal and care deeply. I get easily attached though which fucks me over continually. My sign is Aquarius if that matters.
I'm like 5'5", slim but fit 165 lbs.
I have tried everything, from dating services to asking out people I've befriended to co-workers even. Yet no one will even give me a fucking chance, every time it hurts more and more, to be continually teased and then denied the one thing you've been craving for nearly a decade, the missing piece. Being religated to everyone's best friend starts to become a slap in the face after awhile, when the intimacy you've longed for for so long gets continually kicked out of reach, when it's the one thing that would cure your depression.
What the fuck is wrong with me? Why won't anyone give me a chance? If someone would ever give me a chance I would hold it to the highest honor a man could have for a woman.
All this shit makes me feel fucking undatable, like I'm still a fucking virgin if that tells you anything.
Sorry for the tangent, but there's only so much one can take before you're ready to break.
submitted by Thunderbolt294 to self [link] [comments]


2020.10.08 08:27 KittiesForCommunism Four months of TEXTING a cap man.

I’m not exactly sure I even want to post this. Trolls will come out and say the same shit as always...just leave, just stop, move on, blah blah blah.
But to really understand what is happening here, I figured I’d at least ask and see what happens. So, here we go!
Four months ago I ( Taurus sun, Aquarius moon, Pisces rising) signed up for FB dating. That very night I matched with the most amazing man (Cap sun, Sag Moon, Aquarius rising). We hit it off instantly, joked about getting married, having kids, and dying holding hands. In the beginning he was very flirty. Naturally as we started to get to know each other the flirting has died off a little bit. We talk all day, almost every day. We are both hard working, single parents. He’s 28, I’m 36. The age difference doesn’t bother either of us. We have mutual friends in common, people I’ve worked with that are former employees of his. My tattoo artist is a mutual friend. So none of it screams catfish.
This is where I need advice, we don’t talk on the phone (fine. We both hate voice to voice interaction) or FaceTime, that one bugs me a little bit, but it’s nothing to get upset over. He was floxed by leviaquin two years ago and deals with a lot of nerve pain, tingling, anxiety, depression, OH and he’s also exmo, his mom just died right before we started talking, and he didn’t have a relationship with her because of his ex wife. Plus Covid.
We get along so well. We want the same things. Have the same sense of humor. Laugh constantly at everything from camouflage jokes to ridiculous politics. The light hearted flirting has turned to us both believing we are meant to be together. We want to have more kids together, build a life and a family. He is very open with me about his ups, downs, terrible things in life, I can ask him anything and he just tells me, and I the same.
But, I cannot get him to meet me in person. His reason: “I want to be the best version of myself for you and right now this isn’t it. I hate it, I want it all with you”
I mean god damn. I know y’all move slow, and analyze everything, but how do I get him to meet me?
Thanks, new to Reddit, so please go easy.
submitted by KittiesForCommunism to astrology [link] [comments]


2020.10.07 14:53 VineStellar Comment on all the signs

Because why not?! You can stick to suns, but if you have specific opinions about moon/risings then feel free to toss those in as well.
submitted by VineStellar to capricorns [link] [comments]