Doggy dating game

38 [F4M] #SoCal4Socal (locals only) - LTR. I'm looking for my guy. He'll love cats and dogs, want marriage and kids.

2020.11.23 02:01 RedditSuggestName 38 [F4M] #SoCal4Socal (locals only) - LTR. I'm looking for my guy. He'll love cats and dogs, want marriage and kids.

TL;DR: BBW, loves Disneyland, TV and her pets (2 cats and 1 dog); looking for a fellow DDF guy, who wants to get married and have kids in a couple years, too.
My dream is to find the whole 9 yards: friendship, fall in love, get married, raise kids together, with our pets; then we retire someplace warm or with a beach view. Does that sound good to anyone else?
I'm looking for a serious, long term, monogamous relationship.
I hope to meet someone with some similar interests, so we have something in common, but not someone exactly the same as me, because I don't think that'd be interesting or make for a good partnership.
We’d be partners that help each other out, making life more enjoyable along the way.
If my long post is any indication, I’m a chatty texter; I respond as soon as I can. I will send things that remind me of you. Tell you how my day went, will want to hear about yours. I miss waking up to a good morning and ending the day with a good night text.
Apparently I have to say this explicitly. Only message if you are single and are also looking for commitment.
Locals only, because I do want to meet; COVID safe of course.
Be prepared to video chat. I have no desire to be catfished.
If you're allergic to cats and/or dogs, please don't message me. I know from experience, it's not going to go anywhere.
THE LONG POST:
I'll always have indoor pets in my life.
Let's see, I've watched: Ozark, Narcos, Narcos Mexico, Dead to Me, Legacies, Living with Yourself, Preacher, Fleabag, Silicon Valley, Twin Peaks (old, movie and new), Ray Donovan, On Becoming a God in Central FL, Penny Dreadful, The Umbrella Academy, Perry Mason, The Boys, Atlanta, What We Do in the Shadows (still need to watch the movie; it's not on any of my streaming services right now), The Orville, Atypical, rewatched Psych, rewatching Supernatural.
Honestly, if there isn't at least a plan to meet within a month of talking, I'm out. I'm not looking for a penpal.
(I’m not a cook, so eat out at like Chipotle and poke bowl places.
I like going to fancy restaurants a couple times a year.
I’ll only go to concerts if I’ve got a good seat. This usually means buying the ticket the moment they go on sale. I’m not paying scalper prices.
For travel, I like to do it as economical as possible. Though when I went to Europe I had the fold down seat on the airplane; no way was I flying 17 hours in economy. But it wasn’t the fanciest seat either; it was the middle version.
I like staying at fancy hotels on occasion, but book well in advance to get a good deal, which is about $300/night.
I have a Disneyland annual pass, I do get a cheap hotel there on occasion, when I can be there for 2 days in a row; doggy goes with me. Hopefully you’ll have or want a pass too; if you don’t like going, fine, but help buy them for our kids).
We’re adults here; adults pay their own way.
I am NOT looking to be a sugar baby and won’t be someone else’s sugar momma.
Only a guy willing to to get an STD test and wear condoms gets to touch me.
I'm not into any pain, only pleasure, for both parties.
No, I’m not looking for anything casual or a FWB. No we would not see if we’re sexually compatible out on the first few dates.
Sex is an important part of a lasting relationship, but it’s not the only thing. We have to click elsewhere before we get to sex.
Honestly, if we can't have sex at your place, then this isn't going to work out. I'm extremely tired of talking to guys who have all these seemingly reasonable parent/sibling reasons why I can't go to their place. I've had enough. It now sounds to my like guys that are married and trying to find a mistress. I’m sorry if that isn’t you. I tried keeping an open mind, but I can’t do that anymore.
I love the idea of each of us having a private space to go to if we just need some alone time. I think that’ll be important when we have kids, and are 10+ years into this.
Honestly, the thought of sharing a bathroom again terrifies me. I think that if it was the social norm for everyone to have their own bathroom, the divorce rate would go way down.
I am looking forward to cuddling before we fall asleep and when we wake up, and having sex every day, ha
I do need to be with someone who is okay with my animals sleeping in the room. My dog sleeps on his own side of my king sized bed. One cat usually sleeps on her own, but about 5 am, insists on sleeping on my feet. The other cat loves is a loaner. He sleep downstairs usually; on occasion he’ll sleep next to the dog.
Hopefully we can find some kind of compromise; maybe move to a duplex or we'd have a very big home, with a master bedroom, with attached his and her bathrooms.
Thank you for reading. I know this was long, but I know what I want. Has anyone seen the great early 2010s show Happy Endings? There’s a quote that I think describes what I’m looking for. Someone to realize: “I found a woman who was so sure of what she wanted, and she wanted me.” Brad to wife Jane, S2E18 ‘Party of Six.’
In the subject line, please put your eye color. This helps me weed through the guys who only claim to read my post. And if you really want me to respond, then mention things that we have in common. I’ve included more than enough things to kick off a conversation.
Those who need NOT apply:
submitted by RedditSuggestName to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.23 01:59 RedditSuggestName 38 [F4M] #SoCal4Socal (locals only) - LTR. I'm looking for my guy. He'll love cats and dogs, want marriage and kids.

TL;DR: BBW, loves Disneyland, TV and her pets (2 cats and 1 dog); looking for a fellow DDF guy, who wants to get married and have kids in a couple years, too.
My dream is to find the whole 9 yards: friendship, fall in love, get married, raise kids together, with our pets; then we retire someplace warm or with a beach view. Does that sound good to anyone else?
I'm looking for a serious, long term, monogamous relationship.
I hope to meet someone with some similar interests, so we have something in common, but not someone exactly the same as me, because I don't think that'd be interesting or make for a good partnership.
We’d be partners that help each other out, making life more enjoyable along the way.
If my long post is any indication, I’m a chatty texter; I respond as soon as I can. I will send things that remind me of you. Tell you how my day went, will want to hear about yours. I miss waking up to a good morning and ending the day with a good night text.
Apparently I have to say this explicitly. Only message if you are single and are also looking for commitment.
Locals only, because I do want to meet; COVID safe of course.
Be prepared to video chat. I have no desire to be catfished.
If you're allergic to cats and/or dogs, please don't message me. I know from experience, it's not going to go anywhere.
THE LONG POST:
I'll always have indoor pets in my life.
Let's see, I've watched: Ozark, Narcos, Narcos Mexico, Dead to Me, Legacies, Living with Yourself, Preacher, Fleabag, Silicon Valley, Twin Peaks (old, movie and new), Ray Donovan, On Becoming a God in Central FL, Penny Dreadful, The Umbrella Academy, Perry Mason, The Boys, Atlanta, What We Do in the Shadows (still need to watch the movie; it's not on any of my streaming services right now), The Orville, Atypical, rewatching Supernatural.
Honestly, if there isn't at least a plan to meet within a month of talking, I'm out. I'm not looking for a penpal.
(I’m not a cook, so eat out at like Chipotle and poke bowl places.
I like going to fancy restaurants a couple times a year.
I’ll only go to concerts if I’ve got a good seat. This usually means buying the ticket the moment they go on sale. I’m not paying scalper prices.
For travel, I like to do it as economical as possible. Though when I went to Europe I had the fold down seat on the airplane; no way was I flying 17 hours in economy. But it wasn’t the fanciest seat either; it was the middle version.
I like staying at fancy hotels on occasion, but book well in advance to get a good deal, which is about $300/night.
I have a Disneyland annual pass, I do get a cheap hotel there on occasion, when I can be there for 2 days in a row; doggy goes with me. Hopefully you’ll have or want a pass too; if you don’t like going, fine, but help buy them for our kids).
We’re adults here; adults pay their own way.
I am NOT looking to be a sugar baby and won’t be someone else’s sugar momma.
Only a guy willing to to get an STD test and wear condoms gets to touch me.
I'm not into any pain, only pleasure, for both parties.
No, I’m not looking for anything casual or a FWB. No we would not see if we’re sexually compatible out on the first few dates.
Sex is an important part of a lasting relationship, but it’s not the only thing. We have to click elsewhere before we get to sex.
Honestly, if we can't have sex at your place, then this isn't going to work out. I'm extremely tired of talking to guys who have all these seemingly reasonable parent/sibling reasons why I can't go to their place. I've had enough. It now sounds to my like guys that are married and trying to find a mistress. I’m sorry if that isn’t you. I tried keeping an open mind, but I can’t do that anymore.
I love the idea of each of us having a private space to go to if we just need some alone time. I think that’ll be important when we have kids, and are 10+ years into this.
Honestly, the thought of sharing a bathroom again terrifies me. I think that if it was the social norm for everyone to have their own bathroom, the divorce rate would go way down.
I am looking forward to cuddling before we fall asleep and when we wake up, and having sex every day, ha
I do need to be with someone who is okay with my animals sleeping in the room. My dog sleeps on his own side of my king sized bed. One cat usually sleeps on her own, but about 5 am, insists on sleeping on my feet. The other cat loves is a loaner. He sleep downstairs usually; on occasion he’ll sleep next to the dog.
Hopefully we can find some kind of compromise; maybe move to a duplex or we'd have a very big home, with a master bedroom, with attached his and her bathrooms.
Thank you for reading. I know this was long, but I know what I want. Has anyone seen the great early 2010s show Happy Endings? There’s a quote that I think describes what I’m looking for. Someone to realize: “I found a woman who was so sure of what she wanted, and she wanted me.” Brad to wife Jane, S2E18 ‘Party of Six.’
In the subject line, please put your eye color. This helps me weed through the guys who only claim to read my post. And if you really want me to respond, then mention things that we have in common. I’ve included more than enough things to kick off a conversation.
Those who need NOT apply:
submitted by RedditSuggestName to R4R30Plus [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 12:56 ChronosSaki What you are looking for is..... (Link in the Desc.)4

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submitted by ChronosSaki to u/ChronosSaki [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 11:17 Heyitskay00 Sex as a “big girl”

So I’m (F20) getting back into the dating game and having fun and sex and what not.
Recently I’ve taken interest in someone and went to their house to hookup safely and consensually. And he’s super sweet and really funny and prolly a 7/10 looks wise. But, pretty standard dick size about 5 1/2 to 6 inches. But... we just couldn’t... keep it in... if ya know what I mean. And that’s super frustrating and discouraging on both of us. We tried missionary, doggy, and on top and none of them really worked. I kinda want some advice on how to fix this little issue we’ve run into. Tips and tricks we could maybe try?
im about 270lbs and 5’4” i don’t know his weight but he’s pretty average and about 6’2”*
submitted by Heyitskay00 to Advice [link] [comments]


2020.11.22 10:52 Heyitskay00 Sex as a “big girl”

So I’m (F20) getting back into the dating game and having fun and sex and what not.
Recently I’ve taken interest in someone and went to their house to hookup safely and consensually. And he’s super sweet and really funny and prolly a 7/10 looks wise. But, pretty standard dick size about 5 1/2 to 6 inches. But... we just couldn’t... keep it in... if ya know what I mean. And that’s super frustrating and discouraging on both of us. We tried missionary, doggy, and on top and none of them really worked. I kinda want some advice on how to fix this little issue we’ve run into. Tips and tricks we could maybe try?
im about 270lbs and 5’4” i don’t know his weight but he’s pretty average and about 6’2”*
submitted by Heyitskay00 to PlusSize [link] [comments]


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https://preview.redd.it/zrvuy3wqwm061.jpg?width=290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac8dfc36fab82d39d71cc15f7267b3040b5374f7
submitted by GalEdit to u/GalEdit [link] [comments]


2020.11.21 12:14 WorldWarITrenchBoi Man it really isn’t fair that this is one of the few tolerable subs on this entire website

Like, how can it be possible for am entire website to suck so fucking hard?
Like, holy shit, either you got the big news and politics subs that are swarming with Pentagon posters and DNC shills
Or you got the leftist subs that are just completely insane either with idpol or psychotic tankie mods or both
Or all the soulless corporate shilling subs like /StarWars, /games, /movies, /Marvel etc; basically all the subs that are clearly curated by the firms or their associates
You’ve got the absolute dogshit dating advice subs that range from TRP “WOMEN ARE ANIMALS AND YOU MUST FIGURE OUT WHICH DOGGIE TREATS THEY LIKE”, FDS “MEN ARE SAVAGE BRUTES YOU HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THEIR RESOURCES AND GTFO”, or the retarded normie subs that’ll be like, “Oh, shucks, you and your gf/bf of seven years got into a single argument about movies? Man you gotta break up with them, they’re toxic”
And then finally you got the mindless typical shit like AskReddit, pics, videos, doggos, etc. which are mostly vapid shit interspersed with glowie shit from time to time
Almost forgot all the shitty drama subs actually, you know, the worthless ones that only exist to link to the empty drama in this stupid, increasingly hugboxed website where losers pretending to be superior to other losers despite wasting their lives cataloging shit that’s going on on fucking Reddit as if anyone cares
Honestly there are about four or five subreddits that are actually tolerable on this accursed website and this is one of them
submitted by WorldWarITrenchBoi to stupidpol [link] [comments]


2020.11.18 19:58 throwaway8437456 Healthy sexual relationship and rejection.

My Girlfriend (40) and I (M42) have been together for 5 years.
I think we have an OK sex life, but I struggle with rejection from her and some unwillingness to spice it up in the bedroom.
I would like to get a different perspective on my situation and see if my expectations are unreal.
I have a higher libedo and would probably have sex 6 or 7 days a week, she, maybe 3 or 4 times a week. She has a hard time orgasming, so it's usually some foreplay, I can't really touch her vagina and no penetration before, then she vibrates for 15 minutes while I go down on her etc. till she comes. Then I get attention and we'll have sex. It's usually missionary or her on top. I would like more doggy style, not in the bedroom all the time, just generally change it up every now and then but she usually says it makes her uncomfortable and is unwilling, but sometimes it happens. I don't want anal or anything weird, just change it up. We're working on it, but it's taken a toll on my self esteem. I've brought it up in the past many times and she usually get defensive and has said some pretty hurtful things and kinda compared me to other partners she's had. Eg- "I would really like to play with your pussy a bit during foreplay, it turns me on" her - "it makes me uncomfortable and it's sensitive. When I was dating I liked that, but not with you". She said something similar about shower sex. Saying she liked it while dating, but not now, even though I said it was important to me.
I also struggle with rejection. I almost always have to have sex with her on her schedule. If she's horny, we have sex. She'll wake me up, just tell me to come to the bedroom etc. and expect that I'm ready. I'm almost always game, but the few times I've said no it been an issue when I reject her.
If I try to initiate, I usually get a "I'm not having sex today/tonight/now" and get completely shut down. ALMOST EVERY TIME. I just have to wait around till "she's horny".
We spend TONS of quality time together, cooking, working out etc. and generally feel very connected. I'm also not just flat out asking her for sex, I'll kiss her neck, kiss her, but before it goes to far, she'll tell me no and even if she's not "horny" I don't even get the chance or willingness to try to turn her on or for her to try.
What am I reasonably to expect? I think there should be a give/take on some of this???? I'm not always in the mood, but I'll try for her and feel I have to for myself because I don't know when the next time will be. She wants sex to "happen naturally" and never scheduled, but on her schedule only. I brought it up last night and she said "you wouldn't want me to have sex when I'm not horny" which is true, but that only leaves it up to her...
Am I out of line? Unreasonable expectation? What's a healthy way to deal with this? Thanks
submitted by throwaway8437456 to sex [link] [comments]


2020.11.13 21:50 AIiceInWonderland [Help] Dog not interested in toys

We got a dachshund lab mix about 6 months ago, soon after our old dog died. We don't know much about her, only that she's about 5 years old, was found abandoned somewhere in Greece and that she must've had puppies at one point. We kept all of our old dog's toys for her because we thought she would be interested in at least some of the toys but she is not interested in them at all. Not one bit. She doesn't like chew toys, stuffed animals, balls, squeaky toys, we've even tried agility courses and those little puzzle games where they have to figure out how to get to the treat. Nothing. She just doesn't play. Then we figured since she was a stray she might not know how to play with toys and would rather play with other dogs so we planned a nice little doggy play date with some of our neighbors but she wasn't interested in that either, she always just sits there, looking bored. The only things we know she enjoys are digging holes and ripping up paper. We're really starting to get a little frustrated here because we can tell she's bored, we just don't know what to do with her because she's not interested in anything.
Is there anything else you guys can think of that we could try or is our dog just doomed to eternal boredom?
submitted by AIiceInWonderland to dogs [link] [comments]


2020.11.13 01:52 Doldrey77 29 [m4f] looking for a relationship

Hey I am 29, from central NC, and am looking for someone from about 24 to 36. I do want to have a relationship but just have people to talk to is fine.
I feel like I am your average redditer in that I like to play video games, watch stuff on Netflix, and some nerdy thing it would be better to learn about these things and others by just chatting. I dont like or dislike cooking really but I do know how to do it so I don't starve. I sometimes like to do some active activities such as the batting cages or the driving range. I did do paintball and some obstacle course races but I think if I tried to do that now I would die. I work in IT so I sit in a chair most of the time now compared to when I worked construction.
Due to covid i have not been doing to much like most people but i do have a dog and are planning to get another one soon. The one I have now is a Shar-Pei and she is so cute. I just got done training her to use a doggy door which to longer the i thought it would. Now I have the problem of when its time to go into her kennle she will shoot out the door into the backyard haha.
Hmm what else. Well when it comes to hiking I can take it or leave it. I don't know why hiking is something everyone on dating app and stuff like to say that they are into but whatever. I don't drink any but I like to go out to eat, go to bars sometimes, and out to events. I was going to go to this renaissance fair a little ways away but covid canceled that which sucked.
Ok i guess that's all for me. As for what I am looking for i want to be attracted to the person I am talking to but I can't really but a look to it. I dont mind if you are short or tall, skinny or curvy, or stuff like that. So i can't say what I am looking for in that aspect. But I want someone smart and fun to talk. Someone who has goals or a direction in life. Can be funny and easy going but know when to be serious. Thats all I can think of to say in this post. Here are some pictures of me.
http://imgur.com/a/10bO0zt
http://imgur.com/a/L1rlosH
submitted by Doldrey77 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.11.13 01:51 Doldrey77 29 [m4f] looking for a relationship

Hey I am 29, from central NC, and am looking for someone from about 24 to 36. I do want to have a relationship but just have people to talk to is fine.
I feel like I am your average redditer in that I like to play video games, watch stuff on Netflix, and some nerdy thing it would be better to learn about these things and others by just chatting. I dont like or dislike cooking really but I do know how to do it so I don't starve. I sometimes like to do some active activities such as the batting cages or the driving range. I did do paintball and some obstacle course races but I think if I tried to do that now I would die. I work in IT so I sit in a chair most of the time now compared to when I worked construction.
Due to covid i have not been doing to much like most people but i do have a dog and are planning to get another one soon. The one I have now is a Shar-Pei and she is so cute. I just got done training her to use a doggy door which to longer the i thought it would. Now I have the problem of when its time to go into her kennle she will shoot out the door into the backyard haha.
Hmm what else. Well when it comes to hiking I can take it or leave it. I don't know why hiking is something everyone on dating app and stuff like to say that they are into but whatever. I don't drink any but I like to go out to eat, go to bars sometimes, and out to events. I was going to go to this renaissance fair a little ways away but covid canceled that which sucked.
Ok i guess that's all for me. As for what I am looking for i want to be attracted to the person I am talking to but I can't really but a look to it. I dont mind if you are short or tall, skinny or curvy, or stuff like that. So i can't say what I am looking for in that aspect. But I want someone smart and fun to talk. Someone who has goals or a direction in life. Can be funny and easy going but know when to be serious. Thats all I can think of to say in this post. Here are some pictures of me.
http://imgur.com/a/10bO0zt
http://imgur.com/a/L1rlosH
submitted by Doldrey77 to r4r [link] [comments]


2020.11.12 16:30 Electrical_Donuts I’m 24 years old and I make $51,660 as a preschool teacher in the Chicago suburbs

edit: I’m on mobile so sorry for any formatting issues!
Section One: Assets and Debt Retirement balance: 4,500 in a Roth IRA It’s required that 9% of my salary is automatically added into the Illinois Teacher Retirement System. The salary I listed already includes the 9% taken out (more on that in a different section). I don’t count this as my retirement balance because it goes into one big pot that is used for pensions (amongst other things) after teachers retire. There is a formula to determine what you will receive based on years teaching and income. HYSA: 3,253.81 Brokerage: 1,245 Credit Card Debt: 0. I pay it off every month Student loan debt: None. I went to an in-state school that was covered mainly by academic and low-income scholarships. I paid the rest with money my great-grandpa left when he died, which was about ~6,000 total. My master’s degree was covered 100% by a federal grant I received and it included a monthly stipend for living expenses. Car loan: I have a little over 16,000 left on my car payment. I just bought a new car in September after driving a 2000 Honda for almost 10 years.
Section Two: Income Income Progression: This is my first year working as a teacher full time. I make significantly more than most first-year teachers because of my master’s degree. Since I work in a public school and salary schedules are made publicly available, I have a solid idea of what my income will look like each year. I have worked part time since I was 15, and the most I’ve ever made was during my masters degree when I got a $1,000 stipend monthly in exchange for 10 hours of work.
Main Job Monthly Take Home: $3,143 Deductions As noted above, 9% of my salary is required to go to the Teacher Retirement System. I’m not sure if all school districts do it like this, but mine considers my salary to be the number after the 9% is taken out. If I were to call my HR department and ask what my salary is, they’d tell me $51,660. I never see that additional 9%. Union dues: $121.28 Retirement: I’m not including retirement for the reasons stated above. Health insurance: My dad has made it very clear that I am able to stay on his insurance until I am 26 or married, so I am taking advantage of that while I can.
Side gig money: I also work as a therapist in the Early Intervention system and as a research associate. I get paid for EI work directly through the state, but they are always 4-6 weeks behind on payments. When I do get paid, it’s about $100 for 2 hours of work, and it goes to my HYSA. My research work varies as I am on an hourly position, which is $23/hour.
Section Three: Expenses Note: I live with my fiancé. While he makes a little more than me, he still has student debt that he is paying off. We split all shared expenses 50/50, as noted below. Rent: $810 (my half) Utilities: ~$25 (my half) Car payment: $455. I chose a 4 year payment plan so I have high payments, which I sometimes regret Internet: $20 (my half) Hulu + live TV: $27.50 (my half, my mom uses it in exchange for her paying my phone bill still) Renters insurance: $3.75 (my half) Spotify: $7.50 (my half) Roth IRA: $300 Ally: $300 Brokerage account: $300 We don’t pay for a gym membership and we get Netflix from N’s parents.
Day 1: Sunday
6:15 AM: My fiancé, N, and I wake up to the sound of our pup moving around in her crate. She is our alarm clock and always wakes up around this time. I let her out and the three of us lay on the couch and fall back asleep.
8:05 AM: Awake for real this time. I shower while N makes pancakes and hash browns for breakfast. I drink the last of my cold brew coffee and make a new batch. While we eat breakfast, we make a grocery list.
9:00 AM: I head out to go grocery shopping. First stop is Aldi where I get bagged salads, pomegranates, blueberry muffins, sweet potatoes, broccoli, bread, and pistachios ($25.20). Next stop is Mariano’s. I get tortilla chips, spaghetti, granola, almond milk coffee cream, pancake mix, peanut butter, rice cakes, cereal, cauliflower, siggis yogurt, and a bunch of Luna bars. This was a bigger trip as we stocked up on items we bring to work and keep there ($69.29). The total for this trip was $94.49, so my half is $47.25. $47.25
10:30 AM: Home and N and I unload groceries. We hangout on the couch and watch the Great British Baking Show until it’s time to go to puppy training class. They only allow 1 person in per dog, and I have been the one to go since the start due to our work schedules. We have been lucky and the weather hasn’t been too bad, so class has always been outside.
12:40 PM: Back from class. The pup is exhausted and goes right to sleep. I roast some vegetables and make quinoa for my lunches. N and I review our finances from the week. We split shared expenses such as rent, utilities, dog-related costs, and household supplies 50/50. We put shared expenses on one credit card, update our spreadsheet weekly with the expenses, and split the bill at the end of the month. Personal expenses are on our own individual cards.
10:00 PM: We spend the day….doing nothing. At some point, we take a walk with the pup. Lights out at 10!
Total: $47.25
Day 2 Monday 6:15 AM: Like clockwork, the pup is up. I shower and get ready while N takes care of her. While he showers, I enjoy some puppy snuggles and give her a pep talk as this is her first day at a new doggy daycare and she can be a little anxious. I eat an apple and peanut butter for breakfast.
7:30 AM: Grab my multiple work bags, lunch, and the pup and head out the door. I can’t go in the center due to COVID, so I call when I arrive and someone meets us at my car. She looks back at me with her tail between her legs and it hurts my heart.
8:05 AM: I get to work. I am a preschool teacher in a public school. We have been required to work on site for about a month now, even though we are in remote learning. We are supposed to return to in-person learning in 2 weeks. I spend the morning facilitating virtual circle times (it goes exactly how you image it would with a handful of 3-5 year olds), planning for next week, and prepping my classroom for in-person learners.
11:30 AM: Lunch break. I eat in the hallway exactly 6 feet apart (they placed markers on the floor) from a few other teachers. I eat a salad from Aldi and some quinoa and veggies.
12:00 PM: Lunch goes by too quickly. I head back to work. The afternoon is a repeat of the morning but with a new group of kids. I call a parent just to check in and see if they need anything since they haven’t been participating in a while.
3:30 PM: I leave work and head to dog daycare to pick up the pup. She had a great first day! N and I decided ahead of time that if it went well, we’d buy a package of days. We buy a 20 day package for $510, and the cost for her first day was $24. We split this cost, so it comes out to $267 for my half. This will come out of my HYSA as I have some money in there earmarked for pet expenses. $267
4:15 PM: We’re home! The pup knocks out on the couch almost immediately and I finish up some work tasks. Right now, I don’t mind bringing work home as I like to leave work before traffic gets super bad.
5:30 PM: N gets home. We catch up on our days and make tacos for dinner. We talk about wanting to take a trip over winter break and brainstorm ideas that require the least amount of contact with people and are within driving distance. The winner is driving to the Smoky Mountains and staying in a cabin. We start looking at places and take note of their cancellation policies just in case.
10:30 PM: After a relaxing evening of Netflix and puppy cuddles, we head to bed.
Daily total: $267
Day 3: Tuesday
6:15 AM: Same routine as yesterday morning, but today, N brings the pup to his sisters house for the day. Our pup is almost 7 months old and she has SEVERE anxiety as a whole, but especially separation anxiety. She hates being alone and we have tried literally everything (everything) besides medication. Our vet said she wants to wait to see if anything changes as she gets older before prescribing her medication so young, especially since it can have side effects. So we make it work for now with a mix of daycare and family.
8:10 AM: I get to work. I start to get very overwhelmed after we get emails rapid fired at us about changes for in person learning. I write everything down on a list and decide I’ll organize it later. I listen to Armchair Expert podcast throughout the morning while working.
11:30 AM: Lunch break. I eat in my classroom while sitting in on a planning meeting over Zoom. After lunch, I break up my list of tasks into categories and it feels much more realistic. I get to task 1: find/make visuals to help with social distancing in the classroom. I also do my circle times and check in on the activities that were assigned for today.
4:00 PM: Home from work. I go to the gym before I lose the motivation. Afterwards, I work on one of my side gigs (research-related) until N gets home.
6:00 PM: N gets home with the pup. I made spaghetti with pesto for dinner and we eat it with carrots and hummus. Very weird combination, I know, but there are no rules.
7:00 PM: We get cozy on the couch and do a mix of video games, TV, and reading before bed.
10 PM: Lights out!
Daily total: $0
Day 4 Wednesday 6:20 AM: We get to sleep in an extra 5 minutes today! I get up and shower while N takes care of the doggo. Today is a dog daycare day, so we pack her lunch and give her some extra love.
11:30 AM: Lunch in the hallway. I eat the same thing for lunch basically everyday: grains with a bunch of veggies and a salad. I am a creature of habit. While eating, we get a bunch of plexiglass dividers delivered to our rooms to use at our tables in our classrooms. It is very weird seeing all of this come together.
2:30 PM: They call a last minute staff meeting to tell us the return to in-person learning date has been pushed back 2 weeks again due to the increase of COVID cases. What a rollercoaster. This is the 3rd time this has happened. It is super hard to be fully focused on remote learning and making it the best I can while also planning and preparing for in-person learning.
3:30 PM: Done with work. I’m tempted to go to the dollar store down the street to get some bins to organize my room a bit more, but feel bad about all the money that is being spent on the pup now with daycare and decide it can wait.
4:15 PM: I picked up the pup and am home from work. I do some dishes, and meal prep while listening to podcasts. When N gets home, we have frozen fried rice and egg rolls from Trader Joe’s for dinner.
7:00 PM: I do a HIIT video from YouTube. We have a free gym in our apartment building, but it is very small and I don’t feel comfortable going in it.
8:00 PM: After a quick body shower, we watch David Letterman’s show on Netflix until bed. Who would’ve thought Robert Downey Jr. basically has a petting zoo in his backyard?
Daily Total: $0
Day 5 Thursday
6:15 AM: Same ol’ routine.
11:30 AM: I eat lunch in my classroom today and watch a professional development video on promoting social-emotional learning while social distancing in a classroom. I think about all the important skills we’d normally be learning together like sharing, taking turns, and problem solving, and how those are going to look very different when we return in person.
3:30 PM: Today flew by! We did a really fun sink or float experiment over Zoom and the kiddos loved it. This remote learning has really been a struggle, especially since so much of the kids’ participation relies on the parents helping them out, and I know all parents are stressed and overwhelmed right now. I do my best to teach them how to unmute themselves, but there’s only so much you can do when they’re 3 years old. Successful days like these feel extra special.
4:15 PM: I’m home from work and do another HIIT workout and body shower. I relax on the couch until N and the pup get home. We make veggie tacos again for dinner with quinoa, broccoli, sweet potatoes, corn, and salsa. Delicious.
7:30 PM: I get an email from work that someone in our building tested positive for COVID-19. This is the fifth case we have had so far. Through contact tracing, each time it was deemed that I was not in close contact with the person. I really wonder why all 150 staff members need to go to the school to teach remote and risk getting sick when we made it work at home perfectly fine for the first 8 weeks. I spend the rest of the night being annoyed and watching New Girl on Netflix.
Daily Total: $0
Day 6 Friday
6:15 AM: It’s Friday! N takes the dog out and then we let her snuggle in bed with us for a few minutes before getting up to start the day. The school doesn’t temperature check us when we arrive, and I feel fine, but I check mine just in case after the email last night and I’m in the clear. When N leaves with the pup, I place an order on the Starbucks app for a spinach and egg white wrap and a vanilla sweet cream cold brew. I treat myself to this every other Friday and otherwise drink my cold brew from home. I’m about a dollar short on my card to cover this, so I reload with $10. $10.
10:15 AM: I spend some time thinking about what our next unit of study will be. Most of the kiddos come to circle time in their pajamas (which I would be doing too if it was allowed) and they always point out the different characters on each other’s clothing. After some reflecting on their interests and the upcoming objectives we are supposed to teach, I settle on clothing and brainstorm some activities they can do at home.
11:30 AM: Lunch in the hallway! They are now requiring that we also sit behind plexiglass now. I mixed it up today and brought a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a salad. It sounds weird to say, but food has never really been that exciting for me. I could eat the same thing every day and it wouldn’t bother me.
3:30 PM: I send a message to my families thanking them for all the hard work they are putting into remote learning to end the week right and head home!
4:30 PM: I have a teletherapy session for a kiddo I’m seeing in Early Intervention. This is one of our last ones before he turns 3, so I spend some time talking about the transition to preschool with mom.
5:30 PM: When we first moved in together, N and I decided that we would limit our eating out together to once a week. Today we decide to get a hodgepodge of food and some beers from a local place German place for contactless carry out. I call when I arrive and they put the food on a table near the front door for me to grab. The total plus tip is $58.64 ($29.32 for my half). $29.32
Total: $39.32
Day 7 Saturday
6:15 AM: Like clock work, the pup is up. We let her out and all fall back asleep on the couch.
7:30 AM: We are up again. We take advantage of our early morning wake up and head to the dog park before it gets too busy. Both N and I are working in person and have had COVID cases at our workplaces, so we try really hard to avoid being around other people, including our own families. My dad lives less than 10 minutes away and I haven’t seen him in person in almost 2 weeks. The closest we’ve gotten is me sitting in my car and him standing in his driveway. We get lucky and no one else is at the park! We blow bubbles with the pup while she runs around off leash and she has a blast.
9:00 AM: We get home and the pup goes right back to sleep in her crate. N makes pancakes with berries and hash browns for breakfast. He plays video games on the TV while I play on my switch. At some point, we take turns taking a break to workout and showering. I also finally pull the trigger on a 12 pack of Bombas socks that have been in my cart for a while. I have a coupon code so it comes out to $98. I have second thoughts right after confirming the purchase, but remember that good quality socks are an investment. $98
12:20 PM: We eat veggie tacos again for lunch (can you tell neither of us particularly enjoys cooking) and then get to cleaning. When we moved in together, we made a list of tasks that would have to be done around the apartment and split them up. This system worked really well for us. I find cleaning oddly therapeutic so I take on things like washing the sheets, giving the kitchen a good clean, and wiping down other surfaces. N vacuums, takes out the garbage, and does the dishes. We jam to Hamilton (my choice) on the speaker.
4:00 PM: I FaceTime one of my best friends from college who is also a teacher. Afterwards, N and I play Scrabble. We bought a few board games a while ago to help keep us busy and off the TV since we really don’t do anything social on weekends now a days. We have some beers to make it interesting.
4:40 PM: I’m reminded why I hate Scrabble. I power through until dinner time and throw a frozen pizza in the oven. After eating, we take a walk outside.
7:00 PM: We spend the rest of the night watching Chapelle’s Show on Netflix since it was recently added!
Daily total: $0
Weekly total: $451.57 Food & drink: $86.57 Other: $267 Clothing: $98
Reflection: This was a unique week of spending because of the dog daycare and socks purchase. My spending during the week is definitely usually less than this. This is my first year being out of school and working a full-time adult job and I’m trying to be conscious of my spending and build my savings and retirement account, especially since I don’t exactly trust Illinois’ Teacher Retirement System. If I stick with the same school district next year, I will also open a 403(b). My fiancé and I are very much so on the same page when it comes to expenses and how we spend our money and communicate about it frequently. A few days after we adopted our pup, she got really sick and we spent about $4,000 on her. That was completely unexpected and we both dipped into our savings accounts, but we had no other choice. This made us extra diligent about saving money.
submitted by Electrical_Donuts to MoneyDiariesACTIVE [link] [comments]


2020.11.09 06:45 GoooodMorningVietnam If you have the time, read this, its in a format that so if i wanted to make a book of it i could, its not done, its a journal of sorts, im just having a bad night and wanted to share. This is called my "shit has gone South Google Doc"

This is made from a super uneducated 14 year old who was probably an idiot for doing this with this amount of knowledge about the subject, this also just a dump of stuff from my point of view so if anything is wrong, dont correct me ok, if you dont understand yet, your dumb, first off, and second, this is a Google Doc of what keeps me ticking, keeps me going, so dont EDIT, CHANGE, or MANIPULATE THIS DOC IN ANY WAY. This is going to jump around a lot, stay with me ok? Every paragraph is a new topic.
Anxiety is the excessive worry about things that are out of your control, it sucks for someone who has anxiety. (little useless joke there) Anxiety is a bitch sometimes, especially for a caring person, especially them, if they see a friend or family member that starts down the dark spiral, they get worried for them, and start worrying about them for hours on end about what they can do for them, what they didnt do for them. It kills a person from the inside out watching someone who goes down that spiral, but its murder for a person with anxiety. A friend of mine, lets call her Emma, had been hospitalized twice for attempting suicide, and kept thinking about it, it killed me seeing her like that, and she didnt know. I constantly worried that in the morning, or in a week( she was the worst at answering texts) that i would get a call or text from someone telling me she was gone. I hated telling her my problems because compared to hers, my life was a first class ride, but she was the only i felt i could vent to, because my other friends wouldn't have taken it seriously or it just didn't matter as much to them, and talking to my parent just always felt pampered, and was just odd, and more uncomfortable than “the talk”. Emma and I had been friends since 1st grade so we had a connection I had with none of my other friends, so we understood each other. But i never really talked about me, call me a simp if you want but i felt keeping her alive was more important than my feelings, anxiety, and frustrations. So i never really chose to bother her much about me, i tried checking on her every now and then. It just killed me seeing her like that though. What also hurt more than it helped was that everything i learned from her about her i kept to myself, which was ON-TOP of everything i was dealing with already, so that probably hurt more than it helped, i had tons of peoples little tidbits about them and depressing stuff, stuff you don't tell many people, on top of my stuff as well. But I felt like I could handle it, and I did, for a while,but eventually I started getting mad that most people came to me for help, advice, to vent, but nobody ever really asked, “Hey Sam, how are you doing?” “Anything you need?” And that was what hurt the most, and maybe i had put myself into that, im sure i had, but it still hurt that no one ever asked that. Even if they did i would say no im fine, like i said, i don't want to think that im weighing someone down with my problems(10/29/2020 edit: i never wanted to think that I weighed someone down, but I think it was mostly because I didn’t want to weigh myself down with my feelings, I had seen people who embraced them to deal with them, and it never seemed to work, it always made them sad, so I assumed if I never thought or talked about them, I would be fine, that was bull shit.), they aren't theirs, they are mine, let me have them, i never made anyone's problems mine, but i still tried to help if i could or they asked. But back on topic, even if they had asked if i was ok, i would say no, im fine. But then i would know they at least cared, they thought of me. I think what caused my anxiety was that i cared too much for people, when i became friends, i became attached to them, not like a slug or anything, but like, they were my friend, and i was their friend,it was mutual, so if anything happened to them i was going to be genuinely sad. Thats what probably caused mine to start, i was born with it no doubt, but i think thats what ignited it, at least thats what i think caused it, it could have been trying to impress my parent too though, i never really felt like i met their standards, like i still could have dont better, so tried to be better, and by god i knew i met their standards, i fucking knew that, but even knowing that, i still thought i hadnt, like they expected more of me, like i could be smarter, be better as a person, just be better. I have vented to my friends before, but that only helped in that moment, it was never permanent, never.
It's a bitch being the funny kid, the smart kid, and the kind kid aint it. There is one thing they all have in common most of the time, they all care for others, but let others become their priority. My parents always taught me to, never be selfish, because it's just not nice, it's not right. What if i told you that has become my life in a bad way. I'm a smart kid, I'm a funny kid, and I'm the one to lean on. It sucks because the smart kid always helps the other person because they know less than them or don't grasp it, the funny kid is the fake face and the kind kid is the one you can always count on to help. I have all 3 of those in me at all times, the funny part is the fake face that people think i'm ok, the smart part is the part that makes people think i'm better at points, and the kind kid is the one that lets the rest crumble, because it's the one that cant keep up with the other, because it cares about others more. Remember Emma? Well she's the one that got the kinder side the most, I'm the one that cared the most for her( I like to think ) because I always tried to check on her, see how she was doing, see if i still had her. That was my weak side, because i was weak to her, i opened up to her, since i trusted her. She understood my sides. I think she was the only one that did. Being kind is a gift and a curse, I'm sure lots of people understand that, because caring for people is their strength, but also their weakness. I've been hit like a truck by that weakness a few times, not much, but have. It's a strength and weakness because when you care about someone so much, that you can't stand to lose them, and you help them so much, and then they're gone. It's also a weakness because people take advantage of it, they understand how to use the kind kids. The funny parts of me are a fake face because it makes people think i'm pretty happy, he can have a good laugh with people, he's doing pretty good. But really I have a lot of anxiety about what people think of me. I never wanted to be popular but I also never wanted to be at the bottom, so I always cared what others thought of me. Being the smart kid doesn't help either, because with my kind of ego, i always think, this could be harder, let's make it harder by taking the harder classes, the harder problems, what makes me feel smart is when i'm the only one in the room who got it and the next person cant for another 10 minutes. But by being the smart kid, it also makes anxiety fucking sky rocket. Because you always think “Shit! If i get this wrong im a fucking dumbass!!” When in reality you're the only one one right or even close. So you're always second guessing your work, your choices, everything. And it never goes away, even for the slightest moment.
10/26/2020
Something’s hurt more than you can ever believe, even if they haven’t happened. I can say with complete honesty that I would blame myself if I lost Emma, she’s my go to, and I’m here go to. At least I think I am. It hurts thinking about losing her, tremendously. And I live with that everyday, I live with a lot things that I wish my parents would appreciate that I haven’t told them, I know they always say “I had it worse when I was your age” and “Your fine, it doesn’t hurt that much'' my first day of varsity weight training absolutely killed my legs, it hurt to walk and it hurt so bad to go down stairs. And they made fun of me for being a wimp, it hurt more than my legs, it hurt more than training, because it came at the personal level, the people I went to, to reassure me it would go away, made fun of me. It hurt. I cried after I was back in my room. I also live the fear that I don’t do enough, I’m a smart kid, so my parents expect a lot, and I can fulfill those expectations, but no matter what, I feel I can’t do enough, and it could be because I see my dad work while I sit on my ass and play games, or I just can't complete something. I also live with the fact that I have major anxiety, they know that, but I have major fucking anxiety. If I’m wrong about something, I panic like I’m gonna die. I’d rather live with everything I have on my back, than tell people, I don’t want to weigh them down, they are my problems, not theirs, and that might be because society says men can handle, some can’t, most can’t handle all of it. 2 of my friends were suicidal, one of those were hospitalized twice, and I can’t get a girlfriend, which starts to make me think that I’m worthless, that I’m nothing to the girls, so I think I must be better, I must become better, but when I think about everything that’s wrong with me, I get even more depressed and less motivated, because I have so much unlikable things about me, like, I’m can be a massive dick, I’m not the most likable person, and I’m just messed up. So I start to think I don’t need a date, that if I just work, I will get farther in life, but I don’t want that, I see things about relationships and see the couples at school, and I’m like, I want that, just the ability to have something to hug and watch a movie with, to just have something that I can always go to, that gets me. Just someone to sleep next to, not have sex, just have a girlfriend, that, likes to just snuggle, chill, do nothing, I don’t want sex, I don’t want kisses, I want a genuine hug from someone I love who loves me back. I’m getting excessive and off topic by now, but I come here to write what I need out, not write a novel.
10/26/2020
I’ve always had this question, because it applies to me, “Am I weak because I won't give up, or am I strong for not quitting, for not giving up.” And I have never figured out an answer. It puzzles me, because everyday I want to give up, just a little bit, it grows sometimes and it shrinks sometimes. But I never do, because I don’t want to, I don’t want to look weak, I want to look better than everyone, be better than everyone. So I don’t quit, I say,”There is tomorrow, there is always tomorrow.” And there is, it might not be better, but I might not be worse, you never know, until tomorrow.
10/29/2020
Sleep, sleep is a common commodity that a lot of people can’t get, I can’t some nights. Nights are the worst and the best time of day for me, when I’m lying in bed I start thinking a million miles an hour about random scenarios that may or may not happen, who knows? But I also can never sleep from it, because I also get sad at night sometimes, this is mostly when most of my head hits me, the meds just move it back in the day, I always have a point in the day where I am just oblivious and I go into my head, with the meds, mostly at night. I can’t sleep from all that though, because when I run out of scenarios to run, I just lay there, I can’t sleep. Some nights it’s the easiest thing ever, and some nights, most of them recently, I haven’t slept at all, I’m either up milling around my room, doing stuff from class, and other things. Night time is also my favorite time, I don’t know why, maybe it’s just embracing to me, my ideal night is when it’s chilly enough for a light jacket, have a small mist or fog, starry sky, and, if I had one, my girl, and if not my girl, my best friend, one that gets me, where we can chat for hours sitting on a porch out back at night. That is my ideal night. I wish my room was farther from my parents, just because I can’t sleep at night, then I could get more done, plus it would be nice to not be next to them. The one thing I want the most, for Christmas, my birthday, do you know? Of course you don’t, it might just be me reading this ever. I want that ideal night, where I have a best friend to talk to, who can be fun and serious, who can talk with me, and who I can talk with. That’s what I want, someone to talk to, someone who I can communicate with. Then again, quarantine might be getting to my head by now. I have to take the PSAT in the morning, that’s about 5 hours away. Most of these entries are from around 11 to 2. Never during the day, only at night.
11/7/2020
It's been quite a few days since shit has gone south, i think that's a good sign, i miss it though. When things went south, i came here, i wrote it down, and it got out a little bit, but i feel those were the times i thought the straightest, when i actually thought about myself, my life, and just, my head. I learned a new word from a Russian Badger video recently, stoicism, it means to endure pain or hardships without showing or complaining. I want to live by that word, to never show that I'm in pain, to never show that I don't like what I'm doing. I personally think it's a great word, it's a word that I feel I want to describe me, but does not yet, I want it to, I want to be known by people, and when they think of me, they think,”Damn, is he ok?” I want that, I want someone to see that I went through some serious shit, and I'm not showing any emotion, not showing that i'm dying inside, not showing that I want to cry, I want to be known as menatlly strong if nothing else.
11/8/2020
Shit went south today. I learned today that I will be losing Emma today, my doggy. She hasn't been in the best of health for the last few years and we have decided to put her to sleep. I've known Emma ever since Susan moved in, she brought Emma with her. I'm really sad about that. 2020 has been a bitch, but it could get worse, way worse. Who the fuck am i kidding. 2020has probably hit me the hardest out of everyone i know. I lost my house to a fire, susan was in a car crash, my house was almost done being rebuilt, then bam, a fucking fire, susan was in a car crash, my aunt was almost lost to cancer, my friend is on the breaking point for sure cause her dad has cancer. And then school was cancelled again because of a covid rise, being in school was the last thing keeping me sane, all swim practice and workouts were cancelled, those helped me. And then I had little light of hope, just a little, and then 2020 had to take that from me by saying i had to give up the dog i had lived with since i was 3. I need a hug, please, that's all i need.i don't want to tell anyone about this. Because then they would say man up, you're 14, deal with it, it was worse when i was kid. I need a hug.
submitted by GoooodMorningVietnam to Anxiety [link] [comments]


2020.11.09 06:43 GoooodMorningVietnam If you have the time, read this, its in a format that so if i wanted to make a book of it i could, its not done, its a journal of sorts, im just having a bad night and wanted to share. This is called my "shit has gone South Google Doc"

This is made from a super uneducated 14 year old who was probably an idiot for doing this with this amount of knowledge about the subject, this also just a dump of stuff from my point of view so if anything is wrong, dont correct me ok, if you dont understand yet, your dumb, first off, and second, this is a Google Doc of what keeps me ticking, keeps me going, so dont EDIT, CHANGE, or MANIPULATE THIS DOC IN ANY WAY. This is going to jump around a lot, stay with me ok? Every paragraph is a new topic.
Anxiety is the excessive worry about things that are out of your control, it sucks for someone who has anxiety. (little useless joke there) Anxiety is a bitch sometimes, especially for a caring person, especially them, if they see a friend or family member that starts down the dark spiral, they get worried for them, and start worrying about them for hours on end about what they can do for them, what they didnt do for them. It kills a person from the inside out watching someone who goes down that spiral, but its murder for a person with anxiety. A friend of mine, lets call her Emma, had been hospitalized twice for attempting suicide, and kept thinking about it, it killed me seeing her like that, and she didnt know. I constantly worried that in the morning, or in a week( she was the worst at answering texts) that i would get a call or text from someone telling me she was gone. I hated telling her my problems because compared to hers, my life was a first class ride, but she was the only i felt i could vent to, because my other friends wouldn't have taken it seriously or it just didn't matter as much to them, and talking to my parent just always felt pampered, and was just odd, and more uncomfortable than “the talk”. Emma and I had been friends since 1st grade so we had a connection I had with none of my other friends, so we understood each other. But i never really talked about me, call me a simp if you want but i felt keeping her alive was more important than my feelings, anxiety, and frustrations. So i never really chose to bother her much about me, i tried checking on her every now and then. It just killed me seeing her like that though. What also hurt more than it helped was that everything i learned from her about her i kept to myself, which was ON-TOP of everything i was dealing with already, so that probably hurt more than it helped, i had tons of peoples little tidbits about them and depressing stuff, stuff you don't tell many people, on top of my stuff as well. But I felt like I could handle it, and I did, for a while,but eventually I started getting mad that most people came to me for help, advice, to vent, but nobody ever really asked, “Hey Sam, how are you doing?” “Anything you need?” And that was what hurt the most, and maybe i had put myself into that, im sure i had, but it still hurt that no one ever asked that. Even if they did i would say no im fine, like i said, i don't want to think that im weighing someone down with my problems(10/29/2020 edit: i never wanted to think that I weighed someone down, but I think it was mostly because I didn’t want to weigh myself down with my feelings, I had seen people who embraced them to deal with them, and it never seemed to work, it always made them sad, so I assumed if I never thought or talked about them, I would be fine, that was bull shit.), they aren't theirs, they are mine, let me have them, i never made anyone's problems mine, but i still tried to help if i could or they asked. But back on topic, even if they had asked if i was ok, i would say no, im fine. But then i would know they at least cared, they thought of me. I think what caused my anxiety was that i cared too much for people, when i became friends, i became attached to them, not like a slug or anything, but like, they were my friend, and i was their friend,it was mutual, so if anything happened to them i was going to be genuinely sad. Thats what probably caused mine to start, i was born with it no doubt, but i think thats what ignited it, at least thats what i think caused it, it could have been trying to impress my parent too though, i never really felt like i met their standards, like i still could have dont better, so tried to be better, and by god i knew i met their standards, i fucking knew that, but even knowing that, i still thought i hadnt, like they expected more of me, like i could be smarter, be better as a person, just be better. I have vented to my friends before, but that only helped in that moment, it was never permanent, never.
It's a bitch being the funny kid, the smart kid, and the kind kid aint it. There is one thing they all have in common most of the time, they all care for others, but let others become their priority. My parents always taught me to, never be selfish, because it's just not nice, it's not right. What if i told you that has become my life in a bad way. I'm a smart kid, I'm a funny kid, and I'm the one to lean on. It sucks because the smart kid always helps the other person because they know less than them or don't grasp it, the funny kid is the fake face and the kind kid is the one you can always count on to help. I have all 3 of those in me at all times, the funny part is the fake face that people think i'm ok, the smart part is the part that makes people think i'm better at points, and the kind kid is the one that lets the rest crumble, because it's the one that cant keep up with the other, because it cares about others more. Remember Emma? Well she's the one that got the kinder side the most, I'm the one that cared the most for her( I like to think ) because I always tried to check on her, see how she was doing, see if i still had her. That was my weak side, because i was weak to her, i opened up to her, since i trusted her. She understood my sides. I think she was the only one that did. Being kind is a gift and a curse, I'm sure lots of people understand that, because caring for people is their strength, but also their weakness. I've been hit like a truck by that weakness a few times, not much, but have. It's a strength and weakness because when you care about someone so much, that you can't stand to lose them, and you help them so much, and then they're gone. It's also a weakness because people take advantage of it, they understand how to use the kind kids. The funny parts of me are a fake face because it makes people think i'm pretty happy, he can have a good laugh with people, he's doing pretty good. But really I have a lot of anxiety about what people think of me. I never wanted to be popular but I also never wanted to be at the bottom, so I always cared what others thought of me. Being the smart kid doesn't help either, because with my kind of ego, i always think, this could be harder, let's make it harder by taking the harder classes, the harder problems, what makes me feel smart is when i'm the only one in the room who got it and the next person cant for another 10 minutes. But by being the smart kid, it also makes anxiety fucking sky rocket. Because you always think “Shit! If i get this wrong im a fucking dumbass!!” When in reality you're the only one one right or even close. So you're always second guessing your work, your choices, everything. And it never goes away, even for the slightest moment.
10/26/2020
Something’s hurt more than you can ever believe, even if they haven’t happened. I can say with complete honesty that I would blame myself if I lost Emma, she’s my go to, and I’m here go to. At least I think I am. It hurts thinking about losing her, tremendously. And I live with that everyday, I live with a lot things that I wish my parents would appreciate that I haven’t told them, I know they always say “I had it worse when I was your age” and “Your fine, it doesn’t hurt that much'' my first day of varsity weight training absolutely killed my legs, it hurt to walk and it hurt so bad to go down stairs. And they made fun of me for being a wimp, it hurt more than my legs, it hurt more than training, because it came at the personal level, the people I went to, to reassure me it would go away, made fun of me. It hurt. I cried after I was back in my room. I also live the fear that I don’t do enough, I’m a smart kid, so my parents expect a lot, and I can fulfill those expectations, but no matter what, I feel I can’t do enough, and it could be because I see my dad work while I sit on my ass and play games, or I just can't complete something. I also live with the fact that I have major anxiety, they know that, but I have major fucking anxiety. If I’m wrong about something, I panic like I’m gonna die. I’d rather live with everything I have on my back, than tell people, I don’t want to weigh them down, they are my problems, not theirs, and that might be because society says men can handle, some can’t, most can’t handle all of it. 2 of my friends were suicidal, one of those were hospitalized twice, and I can’t get a girlfriend, which starts to make me think that I’m worthless, that I’m nothing to the girls, so I think I must be better, I must become better, but when I think about everything that’s wrong with me, I get even more depressed and less motivated, because I have so much unlikable things about me, like, I’m can be a massive dick, I’m not the most likable person, and I’m just messed up. So I start to think I don’t need a date, that if I just work, I will get farther in life, but I don’t want that, I see things about relationships and see the couples at school, and I’m like, I want that, just the ability to have something to hug and watch a movie with, to just have something that I can always go to, that gets me. Just someone to sleep next to, not have sex, just have a girlfriend, that, likes to just snuggle, chill, do nothing, I don’t want sex, I don’t want kisses, I want a genuine hug from someone I love who loves me back. I’m getting excessive and off topic by now, but I come here to write what I need out, not write a novel.
10/26/2020
I’ve always had this question, because it applies to me, “Am I weak because I won't give up, or am I strong for not quitting, for not giving up.” And I have never figured out an answer. It puzzles me, because everyday I want to give up, just a little bit, it grows sometimes and it shrinks sometimes. But I never do, because I don’t want to, I don’t want to look weak, I want to look better than everyone, be better than everyone. So I don’t quit, I say,”There is tomorrow, there is always tomorrow.” And there is, it might not be better, but I might not be worse, you never know, until tomorrow.
10/29/2020
Sleep, sleep is a common commodity that a lot of people can’t get, I can’t some nights. Nights are the worst and the best time of day for me, when I’m lying in bed I start thinking a million miles an hour about random scenarios that may or may not happen, who knows? But I also can never sleep from it, because I also get sad at night sometimes, this is mostly when most of my head hits me, the meds just move it back in the day, I always have a point in the day where I am just oblivious and I go into my head, with the meds, mostly at night. I can’t sleep from all that though, because when I run out of scenarios to run, I just lay there, I can’t sleep. Some nights it’s the easiest thing ever, and some nights, most of them recently, I haven’t slept at all, I’m either up milling around my room, doing stuff from class, and other things. Night time is also my favorite time, I don’t know why, maybe it’s just embracing to me, my ideal night is when it’s chilly enough for a light jacket, have a small mist or fog, starry sky, and, if I had one, my girl, and if not my girl, my best friend, one that gets me, where we can chat for hours sitting on a porch out back at night. That is my ideal night. I wish my room was farther from my parents, just because I can’t sleep at night, then I could get more done, plus it would be nice to not be next to them. The one thing I want the most, for Christmas, my birthday, do you know? Of course you don’t, it might just be me reading this ever. I want that ideal night, where I have a best friend to talk to, who can be fun and serious, who can talk with me, and who I can talk with. That’s what I want, someone to talk to, someone who I can communicate with. Then again, quarantine might be getting to my head by now. I have to take the PSAT in the morning, that’s about 5 hours away. Most of these entries are from around 11 to 2. Never during the day, only at night.
11/7/2020
It's been quite a few days since shit has gone south, i think that's a good sign, i miss it though. When things went south, i came here, i wrote it down, and it got out a little bit, but i feel those were the times i thought the straightest, when i actually thought about myself, my life, and just, my head. I learned a new word from a Russian Badger video recently, stoicism, it means to endure pain or hardships without showing or complaining. I want to live by that word, to never show that I'm in pain, to never show that I don't like what I'm doing. I personally think it's a great word, it's a word that I feel I want to describe me, but does not yet, I want it to, I want to be known by people, and when they think of me, they think,”Damn, is he ok?” I want that, I want someone to see that I went through some serious shit, and I'm not showing any emotion, not showing that i'm dying inside, not showing that I want to cry, I want to be known as menatlly strong if nothing else.
11/8/2020
Shit went south today. I learned today that I will be losing Emma today, my doggy. She hasn't been in the best of health for the last few years and we have decided to put her to sleep. I've known Emma ever since Susan moved in, she brought Emma with her. I'm really sad about that. 2020 has been a bitch, but it could get worse, way worse. Who the fuck am i kidding. 2020has probably hit me the hardest out of everyone i know. I lost my house to a fire, susan was in a car crash, my house was almost done being rebuilt, then bam, a fucking fire, susan was in a car crash, my aunt was almost lost to cancer, my friend is on the breaking point for sure cause her dad has cancer. And then school was cancelled again because of a covid rise, being in school was the last thing keeping me sane, all swim practice and workouts were cancelled, those helped me. And then I had little light of hope, just a little, and then 2020 had to take that from me by saying i had to give up the dog i had lived with since i was 3. I need a hug, please, that's all i need.i don't want to tell anyone about this. Because then they would say man up, you're 14, deal with it, it was worse when i was kid. I need a hug.
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2020.11.09 05:29 GoooodMorningVietnam If you have the time, read this, its in a format that so if i wanted to make a book of it i could, its not done, its a journal of sorts, im just having a bad night and wanted to share. This is called my "shit has gone South Google Doc"

This is made from a super uneducated 14 year old who was probably an idiot for doing this with this amount of knowledge about the subject, this also just a dump of stuff from my point of view so if anything is wrong, dont correct me ok, if you dont understand yet, your dumb, first off, and second, this is a Google Doc of what keeps me ticking, keeps me going, so dont EDIT, CHANGE, or MANIPULATE THIS DOC IN ANY WAY. This is going to jump around a lot, stay with me ok? Every paragraph is a new topic.
Anxiety is the excessive worry about things that are out of your control, it sucks for someone who has anxiety. (little useless joke there) Anxiety is a bitch sometimes, especially for a caring person, especially them, if they see a friend or family member that starts down the dark spiral, they get worried for them, and start worrying about them for hours on end about what they can do for them, what they didnt do for them. It kills a person from the inside out watching someone who goes down that spiral, but its murder for a person with anxiety. A friend of mine, lets call her Emma, had been hospitalized twice for attempting suicide, and kept thinking about it, it killed me seeing her like that, and she didnt know. I constantly worried that in the morning, or in a week( she was the worst at answering texts) that i would get a call or text from someone telling me she was gone. I hated telling her my problems because compared to hers, my life was a first class ride, but she was the only i felt i could vent to, because my other friends wouldn't have taken it seriously or it just didn't matter as much to them, and talking to my parent just always felt pampered, and was just odd, and more uncomfortable than “the talk”. Emma and I had been friends since 1st grade so we had a connection I had with none of my other friends, so we understood each other. But i never really talked about me, call me a simp if you want but i felt keeping her alive was more important than my feelings, anxiety, and frustrations. So i never really chose to bother her much about me, i tried checking on her every now and then. It just killed me seeing her like that though. What also hurt more than it helped was that everything i learned from her about her i kept to myself, which was ON-TOP of everything i was dealing with already, so that probably hurt more than it helped, i had tons of peoples little tidbits about them and depressing stuff, stuff you don't tell many people, on top of my stuff as well. But I felt like I could handle it, and I did, for a while,but eventually I started getting mad that most people came to me for help, advice, to vent, but nobody ever really asked, “Hey Sam, how are you doing?” “Anything you need?” And that was what hurt the most, and maybe i had put myself into that, im sure i had, but it still hurt that no one ever asked that. Even if they did i would say no im fine, like i said, i don't want to think that im weighing someone down with my problems(10/29/2020 edit: i never wanted to think that I weighed someone down, but I think it was mostly because I didn’t want to weigh myself down with my feelings, I had seen people who embraced them to deal with them, and it never seemed to work, it always made them sad, so I assumed if I never thought or talked about them, I would be fine, that was bull shit.), they aren't theirs, they are mine, let me have them, i never made anyone's problems mine, but i still tried to help if i could or they asked. But back on topic, even if they had asked if i was ok, i would say no, im fine. But then i would know they at least cared, they thought of me. I think what caused my anxiety was that i cared too much for people, when i became friends, i became attached to them, not like a slug or anything, but like, they were my friend, and i was their friend,it was mutual, so if anything happened to them i was going to be genuinely sad. Thats what probably caused mine to start, i was born with it no doubt, but i think thats what ignited it, at least thats what i think caused it, it could have been trying to impress my parent too though, i never really felt like i met their standards, like i still could have dont better, so tried to be better, and by god i knew i met their standards, i fucking knew that, but even knowing that, i still thought i hadnt, like they expected more of me, like i could be smarter, be better as a person, just be better. I have vented to my friends before, but that only helped in that moment, it was never permanent, never.
It's a bitch being the funny kid, the smart kid, and the kind kid aint it. There is one thing they all have in common most of the time, they all care for others, but let others become their priority. My parents always taught me to, never be selfish, because it's just not nice, it's not right. What if i told you that has become my life in a bad way. I'm a smart kid, I'm a funny kid, and I'm the one to lean on. It sucks because the smart kid always helps the other person because they know less than them or don't grasp it, the funny kid is the fake face and the kind kid is the one you can always count on to help. I have all 3 of those in me at all times, the funny part is the fake face that people think i'm ok, the smart part is the part that makes people think i'm better at points, and the kind kid is the one that lets the rest crumble, because it's the one that cant keep up with the other, because it cares about others more. Remember Emma? Well she's the one that got the kinder side the most, I'm the one that cared the most for her( I like to think ) because I always tried to check on her, see how she was doing, see if i still had her. That was my weak side, because i was weak to her, i opened up to her, since i trusted her. She understood my sides. I think she was the only one that did. Being kind is a gift and a curse, I'm sure lots of people understand that, because caring for people is their strength, but also their weakness. I've been hit like a truck by that weakness a few times, not much, but have. It's a strength and weakness because when you care about someone so much, that you can't stand to lose them, and you help them so much, and then they're gone. It's also a weakness because people take advantage of it, they understand how to use the kind kids. The funny parts of me are a fake face because it makes people think i'm pretty happy, he can have a good laugh with people, he's doing pretty good. But really I have a lot of anxiety about what people think of me. I never wanted to be popular but I also never wanted to be at the bottom, so I always cared what others thought of me. Being the smart kid doesn't help either, because with my kind of ego, i always think, this could be harder, let's make it harder by taking the harder classes, the harder problems, what makes me feel smart is when i'm the only one in the room who got it and the next person cant for another 10 minutes. But by being the smart kid, it also makes anxiety fucking sky rocket. Because you always think “Shit! If i get this wrong im a fucking dumbass!!” When in reality you're the only one one right or even close. So you're always second guessing your work, your choices, everything. And it never goes away, even for the slightest moment.
10/26/2020
Something’s hurt more than you can ever believe, even if they haven’t happened. I can say with complete honesty that I would blame myself if I lost Emma, she’s my go to, and I’m here go to. At least I think I am. It hurts thinking about losing her, tremendously. And I live with that everyday, I live with a lot things that I wish my parents would appreciate that I haven’t told them, I know they always say “I had it worse when I was your age” and “Your fine, it doesn’t hurt that much'' my first day of varsity weight training absolutely killed my legs, it hurt to walk and it hurt so bad to go down stairs. And they made fun of me for being a wimp, it hurt more than my legs, it hurt more than training, because it came at the personal level, the people I went to, to reassure me it would go away, made fun of me. It hurt. I cried after I was back in my room. I also live the fear that I don’t do enough, I’m a smart kid, so my parents expect a lot, and I can fulfill those expectations, but no matter what, I feel I can’t do enough, and it could be because I see my dad work while I sit on my ass and play games, or I just can't complete something. I also live with the fact that I have major anxiety, they know that, but I have major fucking anxiety. If I’m wrong about something, I panic like I’m gonna die. I’d rather live with everything I have on my back, than tell people, I don’t want to weigh them down, they are my problems, not theirs, and that might be because society says men can handle, some can’t, most can’t handle all of it. 2 of my friends were suicidal, one of those were hospitalized twice, and I can’t get a girlfriend, which starts to make me think that I’m worthless, that I’m nothing to the girls, so I think I must be better, I must become better, but when I think about everything that’s wrong with me, I get even more depressed and less motivated, because I have so much unlikable things about me, like, I’m can be a massive dick, I’m not the most likable person, and I’m just messed up. So I start to think I don’t need a date, that if I just work, I will get farther in life, but I don’t want that, I see things about relationships and see the couples at school, and I’m like, I want that, just the ability to have something to hug and watch a movie with, to just have something that I can always go to, that gets me. Just someone to sleep next to, not have sex, just have a girlfriend, that, likes to just snuggle, chill, do nothing, I don’t want sex, I don’t want kisses, I want a genuine hug from someone I love who loves me back. I’m getting excessive and off topic by now, but I come here to write what I need out, not write a novel.
10/26/2020
I’ve always had this question, because it applies to me, “Am I weak because I won't give up, or am I strong for not quitting, for not giving up.” And I have never figured out an answer. It puzzles me, because everyday I want to give up, just a little bit, it grows sometimes and it shrinks sometimes. But I never do, because I don’t want to, I don’t want to look weak, I want to look better than everyone, be better than everyone. So I don’t quit, I say,”There is tomorrow, there is always tomorrow.” And there is, it might not be better, but I might not be worse, you never know, until tomorrow.
10/29/2020
Sleep, sleep is a common commodity that a lot of people can’t get, I can’t some nights. Nights are the worst and the best time of day for me, when I’m lying in bed I start thinking a million miles an hour about random scenarios that may or may not happen, who knows? But I also can never sleep from it, because I also get sad at night sometimes, this is mostly when most of my head hits me, the meds just move it back in the day, I always have a point in the day where I am just oblivious and I go into my head, with the meds, mostly at night. I can’t sleep from all that though, because when I run out of scenarios to run, I just lay there, I can’t sleep. Some nights it’s the easiest thing ever, and some nights, most of them recently, I haven’t slept at all, I’m either up milling around my room, doing stuff from class, and other things. Night time is also my favorite time, I don’t know why, maybe it’s just embracing to me, my ideal night is when it’s chilly enough for a light jacket, have a small mist or fog, starry sky, and, if I had one, my girl, and if not my girl, my best friend, one that gets me, where we can chat for hours sitting on a porch out back at night. That is my ideal night. I wish my room was farther from my parents, just because I can’t sleep at night, then I could get more done, plus it would be nice to not be next to them. The one thing I want the most, for Christmas, my birthday, do you know? Of course you don’t, it might just be me reading this ever. I want that ideal night, where I have a best friend to talk to, who can be fun and serious, who can talk with me, and who I can talk with. That’s what I want, someone to talk to, someone who I can communicate with. Then again, quarantine might be getting to my head by now. I have to take the PSAT in the morning, that’s about 5 hours away. Most of these entries are from around 11 to 2. Never during the day, only at night.
11/7/2020
It's been quite a few days since shit has gone south, i think that's a good sign, i miss it though. When things went south, i came here, i wrote it down, and it got out a little bit, but i feel those were the times i thought the straightest, when i actually thought about myself, my life, and just, my head. I learned a new word from a Russian Badger video recently, stoicism, it means to endure pain or hardships without showing or complaining. I want to live by that word, to never show that I'm in pain, to never show that I don't like what I'm doing. I personally think it's a great word, it's a word that I feel I want to describe me, but does not yet, I want it to, I want to be known by people, and when they think of me, they think,”Damn, is he ok?” I want that, I want someone to see that I went through some serious shit, and I'm not showing any emotion, not showing that i'm dying inside, not showing that I want to cry, I want to be known as menatlly strong if nothing else.
11/8/2020
Shit went south today. I learned today that I will be losing Emma today, my doggy. She hasn't been in the best of health for the last few years and we have decided to put her to sleep. I've known Emma ever since Susan moved in, she brought Emma with her. I'm really sad about that. 2020 has been a bitch, but it could get worse, way worse. Who the fuck am i kidding. 2020has probably hit me the hardest out of everyone i know. I lost my house to a fire, susan was in a car crash, my house was almost done being rebuilt, then bam, a fucking fire, susan was in a car crash, my aunt was almost lost to cancer, my friend is on the breaking point for sure cause her dad has cancer. And then school was cancelled again because of a covid rise, being in school was the last thing keeping me sane, all swim practice and workouts were cancelled, those helped me. And then I had little light of hope, just a little, and then 2020 had to take that from me by saying i had to give up the dog i had lived with since i was 3. I need a hug, please, that's all i need.i don't want to tell anyone about this. Because then they would say man up, you're 14, deal with it, it was worse when i was kid. I need a hug.
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2020.11.07 13:14 ThrowRA_jfjfhdjhhfjf was our relationship toxic?

tw: some nsfw, possibly triggering sexual themes. so me and my ex of 2 years broke up a few months ago. to be honest i am doing pretty well. he is a nice guy but there are some things i definitely dont miss and to be honest i dont think i would ever date him again.
so let me write down this list because i think there’s a lot and i just want to know if our relationship was toxic, how to cope with a lot of the pain some of these things caused me, and just wondering in general because he downplayed a lot of these.
  1. before we dated, would make fun of my nose and appearance. told me my nose was big, and it’s still something that i unfortunately have stuck in my head today due to my ocd obsessive thoughts.
  2. we started dating 3-4 weeks after he had lost his virginity tag teaming some girl, and then when i told him i liked him he just started dating me. he asked me out a few months before this and i rejected him, but he always had his mind set on this one girl and when i expressed my insecurities about this to him later on during our relationship, he would get mad
  3. about a month in he disrespected me and lied about doing drugs after i told him i didnt want him to do drugs especially because my dad is a cop. he did it, and then lied to me about it for 6 months, and then was surprised that i was mad when he finally told me, and tried to say it was before we dated but i caught him in his lie. i forgave him
  4. would constantly joke/angrily joke? about me texting other boys even though i didnt have and still dont have that many friends, and i didnt even have ANY guy friends. would constantly joke about me cheating on him, with anyone or on him with his friends. would also do this in front of his parents and talk about how unfaithful i was (jokingly?) even though i cant stand the thought of cheating in any circumstance. he was my first and only, and im not a promiscuous person.
  5. when we went out shopping once he told his parents what i bought (lingerie) right in front of me and it was embarrassing, awkward, and disrespected my privacy
  6. our first time, he angrily fingered me out of frustration out of nowhere, no warning and it hurt, i wanted to cry afterward.
  7. after our first time, he told his dad all the details and i remember him saying, word for word to me, that he told his dad ‘it was too tight so he had to put his fingers in me, and then do doggy, and then his dad said it was tmi’. i was upset about this. and then nearly 2 years later, he denied ever saying this
  8. sometimes during sex he would hurt me and say ‘take the pleasure with the pain’ when i said it hurt and wanted him to stop, and only stopped when i said ‘no, really, stop’
  9. would constantly badger me for sex, and if i said no, he would get depressed and not want to talk to me for like 10 minutes and give me an attitude. despite this he always insisted that i be firm with him about it, but it was hard to because he would always give me attitude after i said no.
  10. follow up to number 9, one time i did give in after previously saying no multiple times. i assumed i would get in the mood while in the midst of it but it didn’t happen. i was scared the whole time, too afraid to tell him to stop until he finished afterward and asked me if i wanted more i said ‘NO’ and he listened. i was traumatized from this and developed vaginismus afterward. sex scared me from then on and i ended up spiraling into self hatred because of this. i finally told him about my trauma after several months and he was upset, cried, and was upset that i didnt tell him earlier but it was just hard for me to. he told me he asked his mom about what i was going through (told her this and details without consulting me first) and told me she basically said ‘it’s normal, it happens to every girl and i need to get over it.’ this still affects me to this day a year later and i still have trouble with even thinking about sex.
  11. after it was established i was no longer interested in sex, he would go off and on about ‘how he doesn’t know if he can be in a relationship without sex’ and then flip flop from yes he can to no he couldnt, for about 6 months.
  12. would constantly talk about other girls we know and how big their asses were, constantly talk about this one girl we knew as kids who is now a famous tiktoker, and talk about ass and tit insta models all the time. but when i talked about characters or celebrities i think are attractive (which was rare because im very shy about this or anything in general), he would get really moody and insecure. it was to the point where he said ‘you would rather have sex with (fictional video game character i like) more than me!’ genuinely upset, despite all that he would say.
13 (edit): also forgot to mention, when he would do foreplay on me he would get extremely frustrated if it wasn’t working on me, to the point of yelling and not wanting to talk to me for 20ish minutes.
cant think of anything else right now but honestly there’s probably more. but i feel like this is enough to ask for an ‘evaluation.’ he is a nice and caring person, but i think he was really manipulative sometimes and i was interested in getting a second opinion because there are a lot of things he’s said and done that i still think about/that have affected me.
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2020.11.04 23:44 larakf Vlog Recap & Discussion: We Haven’t Been Seeing Everleigh As Much Recently.

Let’s just get this out of the way - we start with the scene of someone using a weed whacker. This continues to be a thing in the vlog that really drives Cole crazy. Why? 🤣
It’s time for the LaBrants to put all of their Halloween decor away because it’s on to Christmas! Savannah spent about 12 hours planning which super-spreader holiday events they want to go to because everything in OC sells out. Naturally, given Covid and all. To further cheat Covid, they’re flying to see Baboon, Ken and his girlfriend, Cack/Crack, Lil Klay, and the rest for Thanksgiving. They also got plane tickets for the whole clan to come visit in California for Christmas! Honestly, I’m just waiting for the LaBrant Covid special.
Cole points out that he’s only 24 years “owed” and wants to show us some of his hobbies. He loves things like electric bikes and scooters. He wants to show off his & Sav’s two new Juiced bikes, which he wasn’t even paid to tell us he likes!
A Posie moment— When asked if she likes Cole or doggies, her response is no...and when asked if she likes mommy or dada, again she quickly says no. I like how she thinks! 🤣 Our answer is “no” too, Posie.
Now it’s time for two truths and a lie: Round 1 - Sav: 1) Homeschooled for 3 years 2) Pregnant at 18 3) Wanted to name Ev Kasely (not sure of the spelling) *2 was the lie - she planned her pregnancy got pregnant at 19.
Round 1 - Cole: 1) First kiss on a trampoline 2) Second kiss in backyard 3) Third kiss in car *2 was the lie and he never said where it was (but do we honestly care?)
Then for some reason they have to draw to see if they will take a shot of lime juice or eat some marshmallow thing that Cole said looks delicious. Cole got the marshmallow, Sav got the juice.
Round 2 - Sav: 1) Gigi’s maiden name was Kelley 2) Gigi has 3 siblings 3) All Sav’s grandparents have passed away *1 was the lie and if Cole got any of these wrong, I would have laughed. Unfortunately, he knew this much. Sav draws marshmallow.
Round 2 - Cole: 1) Engagement anniversary is Jan 17th 2) Jan 18th 3) Jan 19th Not sure how this is about Cole but 👌 ... he set it up wrong though because only one can be true. *3 was true - Cole picked marshmallow but he shoots some lime juice anyways.
Round 3 - Sav: 1) Half sister is 15 years older 2) Her dad is 67 3) First dog was Cruiser *3 is the lie, it was Cuddles. Sav gets the juice.
Round 3 - Cole: 1) Cole’s fav feature of Sav’s is her smile 2) Her hair (lolol) 3) Eyes *1 is the truth. Cole doesn’t know how to play his own game. Also, her smile is creepy.
Round 4 - Sav: 1) She wanted to name Zealand, Cross (my god that kid was fucked from conception) 2) She had 4 serious boyfriends 3) Fav holiday is Halloween *3 is the lie, it’s Christmas and they give up the whole marshmallow/lime thing because I think they’re as bored making this as I am watching it.
Round 4 - Cole: 1) Cole has never been to Africa (the Baboon’s native land) 2) He has never been to China 3) Has never been to Australia *1 is the truth because, again, Cole doesn’t understand his own game. Sav is very proud that she remembers that he’s been to China and Australia. Whew - tough one. Cue a little plug for the Amazing Race. Somewhere Baboon is beaming with pride. Sav never watched it when it aired but she did buy his season off iTunes while dating him.
13:30 in - holy fuck - have you ever seen two people be able to drone on about such useless information about themselves the way these two do?! Time for the click bait portion of the video. They state that they receive a lot of comments lately that Ev isn’t in as many videos (Sav says not mean comments - hayyy shoutout to us). 1) Ev goes to a Christian school that’s back a full 5 days. 2) Ev dances T, W, Th for 4 ish hours. Honestly, we all know where and now know her schedule too. Kinda creepy to give the world your kids whereabouts and schedule but ok. They don’t see her much on dance days. Sav feels sad and bad but they both say she loves it. 3) They film 2 days a week. Basically this is an omission that when she actually is home, there’s a good chance she’s filming something. 4) One day a week Ev sleeps at Gigi’s because Gigi helped raise her due to the fact that Sav planned her pregnancy got pregnant at 19. Gigi is single and Sav also made a promise when she moved out that Ev could sleep there once a week. 5) Sundays she goes by her dad, which Sav says she thinks is great. 6) She has 20-30 clout chasers friends from school and dance. They have been having lots of parties and sleepovers - so safe. Covid who?
This one was way too long. 😅 Discuss!
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2020.11.04 03:45 Negative-Number-5492 I (M31) do *mostly* everything during sex

and I am getting exhausted. I used to be a virgin as I never dated anyone before, but couple of months ago I met someone online and we hit it off pretty good.
She (F31) is a petite woman and doesn't do a lot of exercises (cardio / stamina / etc), I workout 4 times a week and used to go out on bike rides but now that the weather is getting shitty I only just do some DDR or dancing game at home for cardio.
She told me she only had one partner before me and that she never came during sex. When we have sex, she lets me do everything (I ask her if we can do something, she says yes and we do it) Because she wants to be able to come with me, we been experimenting with a vibrator while doing 69, or doggy or any position that lets me have sex with her and she use the vibrator on herself.
Anyways, I am always sweating like a fucking pig by the end of our sex. I am always the one moving / doing the sexing, feeling her up kissing her touching her etc etc. I feel like I am always putting 200% EFFORT as I was a virgin and want to learn / experience new things.. but I feel like she just doesnt want to try anything herself. I don't know if its a culture thing or not because she is a foreigner currently, but I really really wish she would do more stuff or experiment more so I can take a breather every once in a while.
Maybe it sounds weird, but I seen porn where it feels like the men are getting fucked by the women instead of the other way around, and I would like to experience something like that without hurting her feelings or something.
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2020.10.30 18:32 Reklia77 Season 4 thoughts

After neglecting to finish this off, months later after, my previous season thoughts topic I finally got round to this one!
The two Mrs Cranes: What an opener to the season! An fantastic episode that shows how a simple lie can spiral out of control. Daphne forcing Niles (who’s only too happy to take part) to pretend to be her husband was a wonderful attempt to mix humour and the Niles/Daphne subplot. Niles cracked me up in how he was taking advantage of every opportunity to remain close and to kiss, her. Of course, when Daphne falls for Clive, Niles becomes desperate in dissuading her, culminating in the hilarious scene at the table. Roz and Daphne being passive aggressive was brilliant. I have to say Roz is the queen of snarky comebacks. The being pregnant line from Roz equaled Daphne’s best bitch face I’ve ever seen so far!
I’ve read some people saying they hated the stiff acting and awful attempt at an English accent, but I have to say I wasn’t bothered. I didn’t mind his acting, and the accent was bearable.
Love bites dog: Even though Bulldog isn’t my favourite, I still found this episode entertaining. I did feel bad for him though when he got dumped at the end. However, despite the heartbreak I felt for the guy my attention was more focused on the Daphne and Martin subplot, which was fantastic! The Martin and Daphne scenes brought a smile to my face. It was lovely seeing this unusual duo having scenes together, and they certainly saved the best till last with that homeless guy wanting a kiss off Martin instead! His horrified shuffle behind Daphne was classic! I was disappointed we never saw if he went through with it to get information on the shoe store location. Mind you, I suppose they made enquires elsewhere.
The impossible dream: Well that was an odd little episode. I admit I was disappointed the dream didn’t change much, or include other characters having a bizarre dream. I can only imagine the ones the other cast would have! Typically Roz might dream of hunky guys, Niles obviously about Daphne, and Martin I suppose either sport or being a cop again. At least we got Eddie having a dream, and even though it was normal, it was adorable!
A quick shout out to the part where Niles lost himself in a fantasy (or dream he had) about Daphne. That was great!
The highlight for me was easily Daphne and Martin roleplaying in the lift! What a hoot! I was gutted there wasn’t much of it. They just had to cut it off just as they were starting up again...
A cranes critique: Roz and Daphne play minor roles in this story about the Cranes trying to track down an Author their idolise. But that’s not a bad thing. As I said before, not every episode needs equal time split amongst the main characters. Even though Roz and Daphne’s roles were minor, they were still worth seeing, especially Eddie telling Daphne when someone was coming!
As for the main story I felt it progressed well. I’m not as avid as the Cranes with their undying love for this author, and their euphoric joy at getting to read the next book, although I did feel their pain at them watching the author toss the work away...
Head game: What an excellent episode! Niles takes centre stage and it just works! Frasier himself is only in the episode for a few minutes, having to go to a conference, and asks Niles to take over his show (the 2nd time Niles takes over. Co hosts once) for the week. The next scene starts off on a high note with Niles exasperated with a caller. Him giving advice only for us to find out it was a cat garnered some laughs from myself!
I was so happy for Niles seeing his advice helped the basketball player out of his slump, but I had a creeping feeling this would go wrong, and it did. Unfortunately it turned out rubbing his hair was what got the player out of his slump, and my joy for Niles turned to pity. Well, at least he and the player are the only ones who know this, so his credibility doesn’t suffer, unlike his haircut at the end!
I’m sure there are others out there who think the absence of Fraiser ruins the episode but I whole heartedly disagree. Each of the main cast can hold their own episode.
Loved Daphne’s line of perhaps spending an hour on the couch with Niles purely because of the latters reaction! Roz’ shove of Bulldog was hilarious!
Mixed doubles: At last, Joe dumps Daphne! Sounds cruel yes, but it’s one more step to that story line I’ve been eager to see!
Daphne comes home early, and we discover she’s been dumped. Cue the scramble to comfort her as she breaks down, except poor Niles who misses his chance three times. Funny, but sad at the same time. He’s the type of guy who wouldn’t care one bit if she soaked his clothes with tears.
I had to laugh when Roz somehow knew Daphne had been dumped. Of course someone likes Roz would know!
In this episode Niles tries for the first time to finally confess his feelings towards Daphne, but alas, he doesn’t get very far, thanks to Frasier. Just imagine if Niles didn’t take Frasiers’ advice to leave it for a day. How would Daphne of took it when Niles confessed? Would she laugh and think it a joke? If she didn’t, would she reject him? My head hurts thinking of the multiple paths it could take had Niles confessed there and then. That’s a discussion for another day really.
The next day however we discover Daphne has already found a date. The scene in the kitchen is hilarious with Niles grabbing a utensil and saying to Frasier “You’re a dead man!” I can only imagine the mixed concoction of anguish and anger roiling in his stomach. I’m just glad that wasn’t his only chance at Daphne.
This episode really shines for me when the Niles doppelgänger enters the scene. Bravo to the actor who played Rodney who did a fantastic Niles impersonation. More anguish came for Niles when he realised Rodney is a carbon copy of him, and Daphne is getting along so well with him. I felt for the guy, but also laughed as I watched Niles crumble, but the real laugh out loud moment was Niles reaction off screen when Daphne says she loves it when Rodney sniffs her hair.
At the cafe, where we discover Rodney is now with Adelle I couldn’t help but wonder at the time why the writers did that, when it seemed clear it was a reference to Niles and Daphne at how opposites can attract. Was it a hint perhaps at how they were keeping that option open? Who knows. But at the time it no doubt gave fans hope.
I have to mention the end scene with Niles and Daphne. I thought it was so sweet watching Niles giving Daphne a cheering up, but even more sweeter was he actually meant those words “I love you too”.
A Lilith thanksgiving: A forgettable episode for me. I wasn’t particularly entertained by Frasier and Liliths’ side of the story. Niles’ quest to perfect the turkey, and the constant accidents with Fredrick were the better parts.
Our father who art ain’t heaven: When it was revealed Daphne lied about the sheep’s head to get everyone out, I thought there would be some focus on that story. Also, I was expecting the episode to be about Martins attempt at painting! I got that wrong alright on both counts! I felt bad for Martin when he brought that painting out, having spent so much money thinking he’d brought Frasier something he really wanted. I’ve been in that position too, well Frasiers actually. So I knew how Frasier felt.
The crying scene turned out to be the best part of this episode for me. It just got funnier, and funnier, and by the time Niles started I was crying too (with laughter of course.) It’s a real shame the scene ended there. I think I would of utterly lost it if Daphne walked in and saw all three of them crying. Imagine her reaction! If I’d of been writing that scene, I’d have her take one horrified look at them all, before quietly and quickly retreating back to her room.
Dad loves sherry, the boys just whine: So this is Sherry... Yes, I’ve heard of her. Yes, I read the synopsis of the infamous episode later in this season. Can you blame me? People going on about that Niles and Daphne episode. I couldn’t resist.
Something that caught my attention this episode: Daphne mentioning Joe breaking up with her a few weeks ago and is now getting married. Am I missing something here? Her ex proposed to a new woman he only knew for a few weeks? What the hell is up with this guy?
Frasier and Niles’ reactions upon first meeting Sherry is golden! She is the complete opposite of who they are, and their faces are priceless! The longer the scene drags on, the more their despair, and laughably in the end, swig the awful wine, no doubt to let the alcohol save them from this horrible reality.
On a side note I grinned as Frasier got back at Martin by talking about Lilith. Martins’ reactions to her never fail to make me smile!
Liar! liar!: So this is the episode where that heated cream rub scene is from! I’d seen it a few times before I started from the beginning of the series, almost in tears from laughing so much at Niles reaction to the cream. In the UK our version is called Deep heat, and like Niles, I know exactly what it’s like to have too much slathered on your back. Of course our loveable Niles has never had it before, so his reaction is understandable. DHPs’ talent for psychical comedy shines brightly in these scenes. I was so pleased to see more in regards to the cream rub. Watching Niles looking petrified, and knocking things over as Daphne tugs him along was so well acted, as was the agonising scream off camera Niles did as the cream took effect! I’ll be re watching those scenes again and again for sure. That includes the credits scene which again DHP does psychical comedy so bloody well!
But of course I can’t praise just one scene alone without mentioning the rest of the episode. The beginning scene with all the main cast was also great. Daphne’s lie I have to say was amusing and... slightly disturbing. I loved Rozs’ clever lie to get Bulldog out!
I have to mention the main lie of the story, and that’s the kid Frasier and Niles got expelled. I thought the story’s beginning, middle, and end portions were excellently gelled together. I fully expected Frasier to come clean in the prison, even after discovering how brutal that guy reacted after someone touched his comb, as with being discovered in that apartment.
Three days of the condo: Not the most terribly exciting episode, but it’s originality helped make it decent. It has a good pace that leads to the eye watering scene in the condo meeting where Frasier unknowingly makes a fool of himself. Of course it’s the last thing Frasier says in his rant that steals the scene (and my breath due to a bout of hysterical laughter!) “Why, you should see the looks on the faces of the school children when he takes Eddie onto the playground” Brilliant line that was very well built up to.
I loved the credits scene where Daphne holds the breadstick threateningly above her head.
Death and the dog: Quite a good episode! I was impressed. Whilst I wasn’t keen on the season two Eddie based episode (a cut above the rest), this one impressed me with whilst being both about Eddie, yet cleverly weaving the cast into the plot of Eddies depression, eventually causing them to reflect on their own troubles.
There were so many good moments in this episode. One reoccurring plot device is Niles “four legged Maris”. It never fails to make me chuckle the way he says “okay” whenever his doggie doesn’t comply and he has to pick her up.
One of the funniest and surreal scenes is the happy dialogue with not so happy lines. Niles’ line “Tell us why you’d want to kill yourself” had to be the best one because of the stark contrast of delivery and words!
The whole scene where the gang reflect on life and what their own troubles could be was a great watch. It was quite thoughtful, and didn’t overdo the comedy which would of sullied it. A fine blend that I think was expertly written.
A quick shoutout to Roz pouring water on Frasier. Hilarious! And no doubt Peri enjoyed doing that! I can’t forget mentioning Daphne’s slightly disturbing, yet funny speech about what the psychiatrist said about her killing spree. Yikes!
Four for the seesaw: The main plot didn’t interest me all that much. Niles continuously bothering Frasier and using his phone made me want to snap the bloody thing in two. I much preferred the opening scene where Frasier becomes increasingly nervous about the shot before screaming at the end of the scene. I got a good laugh at Martins’ increasing discomfort from reading that saucy novel.
To kill a talking bird: There’s nothing quite like an opening full to the brim with quality lines to get you settled for a promising episode. Each of the main cast (bar Roz) has some cracking, witty dialogue that keep the humour going strong in that opening scene: Martin mentioning having the same dream, Daphne’s joke about applying for another job at the Montana, and of course the great line “Well you’re in luck because I don’t know what the hell this thing is!”. Any scene with Niles and his Maris dog is always a guaranteed laugh, especially this one.
This is the first episode where Niles’ pet bird appears, and whilst not at the same level of funny as the dog, it still provides the laughs. The doorbell reaction with the bird is one of the highlights.
I was pleasantly surprised to see the guests understanding of his situation when the bird is stuck to his head, but alas it being a Crane party it goes wrong. A shame!
Rozs’ Krantz & Gouldenstein are dead: I quite enjoyed this episode, partly because Roz finally gets an episode after so long. The plot is what makes it extra special. It’s not the typical date plot which you would associate with Roz, but something completely out of her comfort zone.
I loved the opening scene in which Roz is humiliated by being recognised, and Niles getting a kick out of it.
I felt bad for Roz with all those deaths, yet laughed at the situations! It was good to see Frasier getting a sub plot also.
The unnatural: When I read the synopsis of the episode I expected it to be a bore. Far from it! For the second time this series I was in tears from laughing. No it wasn’t from the main plot, but the rivalry from Niles and Fredrick. It just got better and better! When Fredrick turned round with a smug smile after being picked up by Daphne I simply lost it. I do wonder if that reaction was more DHP than Niles.
Rozs’ turn: Another fantastic Roz episode that manages to keep the rest of the main cast in focus still. Even though the focus is on Roz the best scene was Niles and Daphne role playing for Rozs’ show. It was simply hysterical! I lost count how many times I hit rewind.
I liked the concept of Roz gunning for her own show, but in the back of my mind I knew she wouldn’t keep it long due to the nature of the show. Still, I did feel sorry for her.
The final scene at Bebes’ office was brilliant. Bebe is a character that always gets a laugh out of me, and her attempts at pity certainly garnered some. The one line that broke me to hysterical laughter was Frasiers’ line “Well she doesn’t have to, he worships her” in response to Roz saying Bebe doesn’t worship the devil.
Ham radio: Often touted as one of the classics, but even though I enjoyed it and thought it was a fantastic episode, it’s not quite there for me. Re enacting a radio play that eventually falls apart in a hilarious manner is a great idea and executed so well that it never becomes a bore. Throughout the episode I found myself laughing almost constantly and usually wearing a big grin when not.
Rozs’ muffled speeches has to be one of the funniest things I’ve seen so far on the show. I was in tears from laughing so much. Niles’ many accents were brilliant that showcased the diverse range DHP can do. The dwarf voice was my favourite, making me double over in laughter.
I appreciated and enjoyed Martin and Daphnes scenes where they react to the unfolding chaos.
Three dates and a breakup: The first one hour episode. One that left me puzzled why this sort of episode was nominated to be so long. It’s not a finale, and not containing any major plot elements such as Niles and Daphne’s story.
Aside from my perplexing thoughts I found it to be a decent episode. I wasn’t too keen on the dates starting the same way, but I did appreciate them ending differently.
One good use of the extended run was Sherry and Martins troubles. I thought that part of the story more engaging. It was funny seeing Frasier enjoying a brief Sherry free life, but pleasing to see his ethics causing him to quickly get the, back together which he does wonderfully.
Daphne’s American accent (and Niles reaction) was a great B plot, but I do wish it had a bit more more screen time.
Daphne hates Sherry: Definitely a highlight of this season and an excellent Daphne and Niles episode. Try as I might I’m struggling to think of anything negative to say, it was just that good. With strong writing, and excellent pacing it makes for a memorable episode.
The scenes at the Montana were of course the best part. I got a kick out of Daphne’s line “Oh Dr Crane you’re always thinking of me”. That was a great line! Very clever.
As much as I enjoyed the sort of flirting brought on by the heat, I’m glad they didn’t sleep together as it no doubt would spoil the brilliant storyline that is to come.
At the end where Frasier explained about impulsive acts I found it neatly explained Daphne’s behaviour.
Are you being served?: Just when you think Niles has grown a backbone, he crawls back to Maris, and just when you think the Maris divorce arc has come to an end it fears its ugly head again. I really believed it was done and dusted when Niles signed those papers, but in those last few minutes the writers pull a fast one and I’m left looking exasperated and fed up.
Oh sure, waiting seven seasons for Niles and Daphne to hook up is torture, but this Maris divorce story makes me want to grab Niles and shake some bloody sense into him! Just when it all makes sense that he has been a rug to be walked over by her, he goes back to square one, too afraid to leave his comfort zone even if it doesn’t quite provide comfort. I’ll be so glad when it’s over, but right now I don’t know how I’m supposed to believe it with all the tricks the writers have played.
On a brighter note, that hot and foamy scene was brilliant!
Ask me no questions: For god sake Niles will you hurry up and grow a backbone! I cannot believe him.. I’m skipping ahead here, but seeing just how spineless Niles was here when he invited Maris over, and running to her beck and call was very disappointing. However, I do feel sorry for the guy, and can understand through my frustration with him, that this is difficult for him.
I was puzzled, and annoyed with the yo-yo behaviour of Frasier and Martin. One minute they’re like “Don’t go grovelling back to her with how she treated you”, and the next they say “If it makes you happy..”
I enjoyed the scenes where Frasier is wondering the streets, pondering the question with increasing stress. It’s just a shame all that hard work over that question was wasted. I swear when Niles finally divorces her for good I’m celebrating.
Overall this was a great watch, even if it was all about answering a question. However, it just goes to show how much Niles means to Frasier if he became so obsessed and worried over a simple yes or no question.
Odd man out: This didn’t feel like a season finale. Not much happened in an episode that felt like it just dragged on. Sure, it had some amusing moments like Frasier in the restaurant alone and that wonderful Niles and Daphne moment with the zip, but overall it just lacked a gripping, and exciting story.
Favourite episode: Daphne hates Sherry Worst episode: A Lilith Thanksgiving
submitted by Reklia77 to Frasier [link] [comments]


2020.10.30 04:18 nmbjbo Repost of Story I want to Continue (Part 19 will be in the comments with rest of story)

'Time is a funny thing really,' I try to tell myself as a get ready to call my boss. Waking up seven, worst birthday in a while.
I had previously been on a pretty good streak, mid twenties to late thirties for over a decade, giving me solid work for the time. Jobs still has one year contracts, but they pay well when adults are a suggestion, not a guarantee.
Finally, I pick up my phone and dial my boss, dreading him picking up. As the phone rings, I eventually hear a, "what's up Rick?"
"Hey Kris... I know I promised I'd be able to get another year in, but I didn't luck out..." my squeaky voice bothering me a bit. "I'll be calling child care services after this call, I don't have anything for being this young."
An audible sigh is heard. "Really Rick? What are you, five? How do you not have anything when this could happen any year? You know what, whatever, just call me back after nine or so and I'll at least get you your gift."
"Thanks Kris, I'll make this up to you next year, I promise!"
"Just call child care before you get distracted by a butterfly or something, your medication isn't dosed for a kid." Kris says, then abruptly hangs up.
I put the phone down. "Oh yeah... I need to make sure I don't get distracted. ...Wait, did Kris say gift? That'll be fun!" I grin, then shake my head.
"Need to call child care...." I sigh, first time in over a decade, a real pain. 'What was the number...?'
'Let's see... I know it's on my phone somewhere, all phones have it right?' I pause, then frown. 'What do all phones have? Was it... Tetris? I have Tetris. I think I'll play a game of it,' I decide, pulling up the app to start a game.
As I play, I find reaching my high score difficult. 'Why can't I get the pieces where I want them? I'm sure they fit, I'm an engineer...'
'Well, I was, now I'm like seven, if that,' realization hits me, again. "Shit! I forgot to call child care!" I quickly begin scrambling through my contacts to try and find the annoying permanent contact. It's hard to read some of the letters.
"How is Child Care spelled... its... um..." I think aloud.
"Chuh is C and H... I think... so it'll be I'm the C section!" I manage to gather that much.
'Never was a high scorer in English, was I?' I think to myself, when suddenly my stomach growls.
I set the phone down and head to the kitchen, still in my pajamas from last night. 'Why are my pajamas...' "oh right!" I head back up to go call Child Care. Heaven knows I'll need it.
I get back on my phone to call Child Care, going to the C section in my contacts. "Where is H in the alphabet... A B C D E F G... H! There we go!" I grin as I finally hit the correct contact to call.
'...why am I calling them again?' I think as the phone rings on speaker.
"Hello, this is Child Care Services, how may we help you?" A woman, probably in her fifties or so, asks.
"Oh yeah! Hello miss! I turnt' seven- ...maybe six? Today!" I tell her. "Can someone come over?"
"Of course sweetie, just hold tight, alright? What's your name hun?" The woman asks.
"My name is Ricky!" I answer, not even aware of how hyper I've gotten.
"Alright, Ricky. Do you have any medicine you're supposed to take? If you do we can get you to a doctor to help you out." She replies.
"I have one!" I reply quickly. "Its um... Dianne.... dian... Dianne-avel"
"Dyanavel? Alright sweetie, we'll be sure the doctor will get you all set." The woman says. "There will be someone by your location soon to pick you up. Alright Ricky?"
"Okay! Who will be picking me up?"
"It will be a nice foster parent to make sure you get everything you need. Do you live with anyone else?"
"I live in my house!" I say proudly. "I got it 'cause I worked really hard!"
"I'm sure you did Ricky. Do you know if it's paid off?"
"Um... I think it is... It isn't very big," the house is enough to give another person or two a room.
"That's very good hun, cam you go to the front door and wait for the nice foster parent to show up?" The woman asks.
"I can do that," I reply, beginning to head downstairs again. As I walk down the steps, I trip on my massively oversized pajama shirt, meant for a well built adult, and fall down a few steps to the landing - thankfully carpeted.
"Ow ow ow..." I hold by rug burned arms and legs the best I can, forgetting the phone that is easily too broken to use now.
As I begin to tear up, I hear a knock at my front door.
With teary eyes, I look at the door, wondering who could be there.
"H-Hello..?" I choke out, trying not to cry from such minor injuries. 'Why am I so fragile right now? I'm about to cry like- ...right, I'm a little kid right now.' I remember.
The person at the door knocks again, replying through it, "Ricky, I'm here from Child Care Services, could you open the door for me?"
'Oh yeah! I was just on the phone with-' I look for my phone, eventually seeing that my lack of case had cost me. The screen is shattered so badly I wouldn't dare use it again. 'What am I going to do about my phone?' I think to myself, still trying my best not to cry from the stinging bruises.
They knock again. "Ricky? Are you there?"
"O-Oh! Sorry mister!" I yell to the door, the pain from the rug burn and fall bleeding into my voice. I get up and stumble to the door, only my old adult pajama shirt being on my at this point, though it is more than enough to look like a dress on me now.
I eventually manage to get the door open, after i get my hands out of my sleeves, and let the Child Care worker inside to see me.
"Hey there lil' Ricky, I heard your call cut out a little before I got here. What happened?" The man asks, looking to be on the very edge on being allowed to work. He's probably only around sixteen or seventeen.
"I-I um..." I look away from him, a bit embarrassed to admit I tripped on my pajamas.
"Hey, its okay buddy. You said you take medicine on the call. Could you tell me what its for?" The man asks, distracting me from the fall.
"Oh... um... I take a yucky drink for my brain... It's called ADHD, I think..." As I finish saying that, I remember my phone. 'Where did I put it? Stairs, right!' I hurry off from the caretaker back to the stairs, finding my shattered phone. ...Again.
The man walks over and sees as well. "Ah... You fell down the stairs, didn't you? Don't worry about it, I have bandages in my car. Want to come along so we can get you dressed and patched up?"
'Dressed? Why do I need to get dressed? I already came downstairs-' "...I'm still in my pajamas..." I have the realization out loud, getting a patient smile from the worker.
"Yes, and you have very nice pajamas. But we need you to be in proper clothes so you don't fall over again, can you come out to my car with me Ricky?" He asks again, and I nod.
The worker takes my hand, gentle but a firm grip for some reason. 'It's not as if I'd wonder off...' I see a really, really cool beetle on the sidewalk! It looks like it might be a rhino beetle. 'Am I being pulled? Why would I be pulled anywhere? Is this the Child Care worker?' I think as we get to the car.
"Why are we going in your car?" I ask the worker
"We're getting you some medicine to help you focus, Ricky. And we're getting you dressed. That still okay with you?" He asks
"Can I pick the clothes?" I ask, internally hoping for something blue. I like the color blue.
"Of course, as long as they fit little man," He smiles at me, and I feel as if I can't do anything but grin back. He has a nice smile.
Once in the car, I get to pick out an outfit from a little box. At least, I can after I'm measured by the worker. I pick out a really cool blue shirt that goes down to my knees and some blue pants. I have trouble getting the clothes on myself though, so the worker gets them on for me.
"Ready to go see the nice doctor lil' Ricky?" He asks.
"Yeah!" I feel excited. "Do you think they'll have lollipops? I like the blue ones!"
"Absolutely, and I bet you can get two blue ones if you ask nicely" He says as we begin to drive off. I'm giggling in excitement half the ride.
Soon after, we arrive at a big white building. "Where are we?" I ask the worker.
"This is a pediatrician's office. They help kids like you feel better, doesn't that sound nice?" He answers, I nod in response to his question.
"Do you think I can help kids feel better too?" I ask, which for some reason earns a laugh.
"Absolutely man, you'll do great!" He gets out of the car, unbuckling me not long after and taking me in the building. What was the building for again?
The worker takes me inside and I get to see a really clean looking place. I can't quite read the sign on the door where we go, but I there's a bunch of really colorful toys in a basket!
I get out a few of the toys and start playing with them. 'I don't remember the last time playing with blocks was this fun! I must have been like three!' I think to myself, ignorant to the fact I may be a bit younger than the seven I guessed.
Some time later my name gets called by a nurse. 'When did I give them my name? I don't remember' I shrug, the Child Care worker taking me back to a little doctor's office. Inside is a doctor with a really cool badge, it's super shiny.
"Hello there, you must be David and Ricardo, correct?" The doctor asks.
"My name is Ricky!" I say loudly, the doctor chuckling.
"Of course, you always liked that nickname, so the notes say. We'll be taking a few measurements and giving you a new prescription, alright?" The doctor more so asks David.
"That'll be alright, just be gentle. He tripped up before I was able to get to his house and get him here." David says
"Of course. Alright Ricky, could you follow me?" the Doctor asks. I nod, following him to a little scale and a thingy to get my height, and a few more thingies.
After some tests, he talks to David for a little bit. David eventually comes over and says, "Okay Ricky. We know how old you are now. You seem to be a bit younger than three, okay?"
"No! I was ten ten ten yesterday!" I say loudly. Thirty.
"Yes, you were, but today is your second birthday, okay?"
"No!" I refuse. He sighs at that.
Despite my protests, David picks me up and keeps talking to the doctor, while I grumble and pout and whine. I don't like it here. It's too boring. Too stiff. 'Wait, what was I doing?' Then I remember, 'Oh yeah! there's blocks in the one room!' So I try getting down, fail, and return to grumbling.
Eventually David finishes talking to the doctor, I don't know what he was talking about though. He carries me to a desk down the hall that gives me a lollipop!
"I like Lollipops!" I say, seeing them.
David smiles at me, "I know, do you want a blue one still?"
"Yes!" I reply quickly, getting the requested blue one. David seems to be doing something while I eat it, but I can't be bothered to look. It's really hard to read the letters, or maybe those are numbers? I can't remember. Either way, we eventually head out to the car again.
As I'm buckled in by David, I let out a yawn. When did I get so tired? It has been a long day I guess. 'Maybe I'll rest my eyes until we get there...' I think as I doze off to sleep.
I eventually wake up in a strange room. 'Why am I not at my house?' I think to myself, slowly getting up and seeing myself in a nearby mirror. "...I look like a tod- ...I didn't take my meds, I was probably a mess for whoever got me here." I sigh, getting out of bed.
I finally notice how colorful and fun the room looks, but shake my head at it. "I already messed up once... I need to not lose focus again..." I mumble, going straight to the door. I need my medication.
I attempt to open the door, but find I can't get a good grip on the doorknob because its too high. 'Am I really that short? How tall am I?' I wonder, now just knocking on it. It makes a nice sounds when I knock on it. I'm going to keep knocking on it.
While I'm knocking, someone opens the door, not sure how long I was knocking though. I look up to see who and am a bit shocked to see my boss, Kris. "...What are you doing here?" I ask him.
"Rick, you're barely older than a baby right now.” Kris says, “At least, according to the front desk here.”
“Where is here?” I reply.
“This is Child Care Services, remember? You told me a few hours ago you’d give them a call, and it looks like you managed.”
“Oh yeah...” I frown. “...Then why are you here?”
“You didn’t call after nine like I’d asked, and you weren’t at your house,” Kris replies. “So, I was right to guess you’d be here. Pretty sure my older brother is here too right now, he doesn’t like being seen as a kid though, so I don’t visit when he is one, but that’s off topic. I got you a birthday present.”
“A present?” I ask excitedly, then get a bit embarrassed at how childish I’ve already become. “...How old am I exactly?”
“Two,” Kris says, “But hey, not the end of the world. Mind if I come in?”
“You can,” I say, letting him in. He enters. Kris takes a seat on a chair in the room, I decide to sit next to him.
He not long after gets something out of his pocket, a notebook. “You always did like keeping notes on everything, but hey, now you have a place to keep any drawings you end up making,” Kris says, handing me the notebook. It’s as big as my torso!
“Where did you get one so big?” I ask
“It’s big, but not that big,” He replies, “You’re not even two and a half feet tall, so it seems bigger.”
“Oh...” I say quietly.
“Don’t feel bad about it,” He says, “Lets get you to your wing’s nurse, she has your prescription I think.”
“Oh yeah! ...What is it for again?” I ask Kris.
“Your ADHD, Rick, you should know you can’t focus,” He says, picking me up. I just pout at him.
“I can focus...” I grumble.
“On what?” He asks in return.
“Uh… ...what were we talking about…?” I have trouble remembering what I couldn’t focus on. ‘...that’s what he means.’ “...Yeah… lets go get it.”
“That’s the plan,” Kris says, carrying me off. The halls here have lots of pretty pictures and things. I like it.
We don’t take long to get to a really boring room, it’s just boring white everywhere, besides this one lady who looks maybe sixteen.
“Hello there sir, who is this you’ve brought with you?” The lady asks, her voice is pretty.
“This is my old employee, Rick. He needs his medication is all,” Kris says.
“Alright, just set him down on the table and I’ll look through the database to see if we have any medication for him,” she replies. So I get set on a table. The table has a sheet of paper over it for some reason.
“Can I have a pen?” I ask, a bit louder than I intended.
“What for?” The lady asks
“I wanna draw!”
“You can’t draw on the paper there Rick,” She says softly, “It’s just to keep the table clean.” Even though I know that makes sense, it still upsets me a bit.
So I stay put, being grumpy until the lady speaks up again. “It looks like his prescription is currently Vyvanse, we’ll be giving the chewable version as it will be easier for him to take.” She takes out a little bottle, taking out a tablet.
“Alright, Rick, can you eat this for us?” She asks, holding out the tablet. I nod. She has me eat the tablet, but it tastes a little yucky.
“That will last twelve hours, so given the time, he won’t need another until tomorrow morning.”
“Thank you miss..?” Kris starts.
“Dr. Thomson,” She replies.
“Right, we’ll be off the the common area then,” Kris picks me back up, I stick my tongue out at her for giving me such a yucky candy. She just smiles and waves us off.
I end up being carried to somewhere else, it looks like a little kids play room… but its so fun looking. I want to resist it, but I’m getting bored quickly. It seems for now, and probably the year, I’ll be spending a lot of time here… Hopefully I don’t get too used to it…
A year at the age of two goes by, until finally, all three hundred sixty five days later, it's my birthday again.
I wake up in a different room than usual at the Child Care Services building, used for kids about to grow up who might end up as adults. I woke up excited to see how I ended up, but... I don't seem much older. I let out a sigh, getting out of bed unhappily.
I go to the dresser and look for the right size clothes, eventually finding the right fit, and take a good half hour to dress myself. On the bright side, it's still my favorite color, blue.
Not long after my success, that one nurse, Dr. Thomson, enters the room to check on me. Her birthday was months ago, and she's easily in her late forties now, but aged pretty well, her voice is still really pretty too.
"Hey there Ricky, looks like you didn't luck out like you were hoping," She says with sympathy, "Why don't we go to my office so we can figure out how old you are now? You've grown a few inches." That last bit seems to just be to make me feel better.
"Okay..." I agree, a bit bummed to say the least.
She picks me up, and I let her, and she takes me over to her office. I've grown to know that office well, as I've had to go there every twelve hours to get my medicine. And I'll be getting it again today.
Once there, I get put on a scale, have my height measured, get a blood test, eye exam, and plenty more which is still a bit hard to tell, and I eventually get, "You seem to be four or so, with what we can tell based on your previous data and current results."
"But I wanna be big again..." I whine slightly, and she pats my head.
"I know Ricky, but life just doesn't work that way. Maybe next year," Dr. Thomas says, the comforting working a little. "Lets get you your medicine now, your new dosage isn't too much higher." I nod, and take the chewy tablet again. Sticking my tongue out after for it being so yucky.
"...Can I have breakfast now?" I ask with some hope, now that I'm four I can at least have big kid foods, like mac n' cheese and pizza.
"Breakfast isn't for another half hour still, why not go get set up in your new wing? I'll bring you over if you want," she offers, I just nod. I hate being a kid.
As we walk over, I can actually walk pretty well this time, mostly, we get to a new play place for older kids. There's a more people here than the last one, but its not like many people get as unlucky as I did, so that's no surprise.
Even with my medicine, I still get excited really easily, and try not to, but... I can't help but hurry over to play with a big chalk board. So many colors! I can't imagine who wouldn't want to play with this!
It isn't until breakfast that I remember that I wanted food, but I do still remember. That's an improvement. I go over to the mess hall with the rest of the kids, maybe fifty of us total in this current wing, and get served our breakfasts. It's eggs and bacon! I haven't had this in over a year!
I scarf down my food happily, enjoying that I got actual food, not the weird toddler food I had to eat before. It's really good.
After breakfast, which isn't very long in my case, someone new enters the play room. They're four, obviously, but look familiar...
They come over and sheepishly say, "...Hi Rick."
That's when it hits me. "Kris?! How long have you been little?" I never really learned his birthday.
"Well... about a month? I didn't have enough for both me and my wife to be little at the same time." He admits.
I give him a smile at the least, "Well, at least we're not alone, or babies," I mention. "I really want to be big again though."
"Maybe one day Rick, but for now, we're stuck," Kris says. "I see you got into drawing."
"Yeah! Drawing is super fun! And they got a bunch of colors!" I say, motioning to the chalk board I've been at.
"Can I join?" He asks
"Sure!" I allow it, handing him a chalk stick.
And thus, I get the next year or so as a kid with my boss. He still makes money, but isn't allowed to make financial decisions as a kid. Oh well, could be worse. We could be seven and have to go to school.
Maybe next year I can be an age that's not so little.
A few months pass by from my birthday, and the school season begins, so I go to preschool with everyone else in my age group. Apparently its important to treat everyone as their given age, but I don't care. I just like that we get to play with so many new toys.
Kris is in school with me at least, and we get to play blocks and color a lot. He seems to still like acting like an adult though, but I think he's having fun.
Towards the end of the school year, the class size starts growing pretty fast. I guess its just an unlucky week or something.
About a month after school lets out, Kris gets bigger again, he's eighteen now so he goes back home and to work.
I don't get so lucky though, I only grow to seven after my birthday passes, and get moved to the appropriate wing. It's really crowded though, not sure why, but hey, we get a television in this wing!
One of the kids here is actually Dr. Thomson, but she's just Mallory right now.
The T.V. usually has news on, because kids this age have some awareness and want to know whats going on. Turns out its a really bad week, most people are ending up below twenty, which explains how crowded it is.
A few weeks later, its reported that fifty percent of all birthdays in the last month have lead to people becoming younger than ten.
The wing actually fills completely, and stops accepting people until an opening happens. Kris actually offers to house me so more people can stay in the wing, so I get to pack up and go to his house.
Once there, he waves me over to the door. "Come on Rick, you get the guest room for a while," Kris says. I hurry on in.
"Thanks Kris, I owe you," I say, but he shakes his head.
"You don't owe me anything, just try not to break anything." I nod.
We end up playing board games when he's free, his wife, Alice, is currently sixteen, so she joins in sometimes too.
As time passes, I get word that the working age is lowered from sixteen to thirteen. That hasn't happened in over thirty years, I was only five then. Well, linearly at least. Linear age is what most people care about in jobs and stuff.
I end up home alone a lot because there's just such a shortage of workers with it being one of 'those' years that everyone gets the short end of the stick. Child Care Services is pushed to its limits.
One day, there's a knock at the door, so I get it. Outside is someone I don't recognize. I open my mouth to ask who they are, but quickly get a rag put over my mouth and start getting woozy.
I guess it doesn't matter who, because things are getting dark...
I wake up, feeling a bit ill. Wearily, I sit up.
Around me, I seem to be in some sort of prison cell, I think. It's got bars on one end, but also some sort of fine mesh so I can't stick my hands through the bars. In the cell-thing with me, I have a bed that I'm sitting on, what seems to be a door to another room to the side, a nightstand with a dark lamp on it, and a little table in the corner with a chair and some drawing supplies.
I get out of bed, giving a more thorough search, meaning the second room. It's a bit disappointing when its just a bathroom, especially that it only has a shower so I can't take baths. So, I just go back out of the bathroom and sit glumly at my table.
It's another hour before there's anything different, part of which I ended up doodling. The change is the sound of walking, which makes me tense up.
The sounds stops with an ugly man- ...woman..? I can't tell, standing in front of the cell.
"I see you've woken up," They say, still no real clear answer as to what they are. "Lets begin then, shall we?"
I meekly shake my head no, which doesn't seem to sway them any.
The door to my cell is unlocked, and they grab me without much difficulty. 'Maybe if I behave they'll let me go sooner....'
I get dragged to a medical bed, where I am strapped down. I try to resist that, but they're too strong for my small body.
"I expect results from you, you best hope you preform well," they say. I probably just end up looking more scared.
They start looking through their things, giving off a very clear mad scientist vibe despite wearing a sweater and khakis. Soon, they turn back around, and are holding a needle with a mystery substance in it.
"Lets see if this one cures this world's filthy affliction," They say, and inject the substance into a vein on my neck of all places. At least the pinch was almost unnoticeable, so they're considerate about that at the least. They even put a bandage over the spot.
As whatever it is starts flowing through me, it starts getting warmer and after that painful, I don't know how long passes, but I got unstrapped and moved to my cell at some point. I think I did at least? It's hard to tell, it just hurts.
It eventually gets to just be too much, and it goes dark again.
When I wake up, the room looks bigger than when I fell asleep. It might just be me though.
I dare not sit up, as to give away to whoever may be watching. It doesn't seem to work though, because the door squeaks as it opens up, which probably makes my act look even less convincing honestly.
I get picked up, which startles me, and I realize it doesn't feel normal when I am. I open my eyes to a disapproving look from the person.
"You've had the same issue I had, but worse, looks like this attempt was a failure. What was your name?" They ask
"I-I... Ricky..." I mumble, a bit startled at having a completely foreign voice that is definitely younger than seven.
"Well, Ricky, I hope you didn't have a wife. You have a pretty equal chance of aging linearly, not aging, or aging as usual from now on. Good luck when you figure out which."
"W-What!?" That's not at all what I expected.
"Well, since you aren't dead or brain damaged, you'll be getting an amnesiac and sent back home while you're out cold. Have fun~" a new rag is set over my mouth and nose, which puts me under even faster than last time.
I wake up in bed at Kris's house like usual. I stretch and get out of bed, or, to my surprise, fall out of bed. "Owie..." I get startled at my voice being so high pitched.
'Did I get younger? It's not my birthday... even if I did, my voice would be deeper,' I frown to myself, the pain from the fall stinging a little. I get up anyways, and notice everything is bigger than it usually is.
My thud must have been hard enough to alert Kris, or his wife Alice I guess, as someone starts thudding towards my room. Why such a hurry?
I get up as the door opens, both Kris and Alice towering over me, both looking confused.
"Who the fuck are you?" Kris asks me, which is a surprise.
"...It's Rick..? You let me stay here?" I reply, once again surprised by how odd my voice sounds, then I notice it. Kris has his gun on him. "...What's going on..?"
"Rick's been missing for weeks, and you're not even a guy are you?" Kris says, the question leading me to be even more confused.
I look down at myself and... "What the hell!?" I yell when I see it. I'm younger again, and probably a girl. "How...?"
Alice looks to Kris. "Honey... I... I think it might actually be them."
Kris frowns and says, "'Rick,' what did I get you for your birthday three years ago?"
"A notebook, but why the hell am I a girl?" I ask, really hoping for answers, I don't know what happened. Where could I have been for weeks that made me a girl? I thought I was just waking up from a nap!
He sighs and puts his gun down, then picks me up. "We're going to the doctor. Now." I nod in agreement, because I honestly just want answers.
'Oh! There's a squirrel outside the window! Wait, no, that's not important, where is my medicine?'
And with that, we begin to walk off, hopefully to find answers.
After a short time, we're in Kris's car and off to the hospital. At least Kris is prepared for that, he keeps booster seats in case they're needed, unlike me.
I can't believe I didn't notice I was a girl right away. At least... I think I'm a girl? I didn't really check. More than skin deep.
While driving, I watch outside the window. So many things wiz by while we drive. A house here and there, lots of trees, oh! A doggy! I like dogs.
Soon we're reaching city limits, which is honestly a sight I didn't expect. There's usually a homeless man or two, but there's more than usual. And they're all kids... why is that happening again? I feel like I know this one...
Besides that, we get to the hospital and go into the ER for some reason. Whose sick?
When we get in, Alice holds me in the sitting area and Kris talks to the desk lady, both seem confused about something. Oh hey! There's magazines!
I try to grab one, but a hand moves in the way. Then I here, "Rick, you need to stay focused," from Alice.
What did I need to focus on? Oh yeah, I'm not quite myself right now... ...and I could really use my medicine, its apparently been a week or something.
I end up getting distracted by the magazines a few more times before I get picked up again, I don't remember what I was focusing on.
I get carried to the back, and put in a hospital bed. All the stiff in here is boring. It's all white and mean and scary. Scary? Why is it scare again...
A doctor comes in, who, looking through some papers, looks confused. Maybe he grabbed the wrong ones?
"Are you Ricardo Babineaux?" The doctor asks, frowning to himself when I nod.
"We're going to need to do a few tests to verify that, for hopefully clear reasons." He says, more so to Kris and Alice than to me.
"That's fine," Kris says. "We're as confused as you."
"I'll be back in a moment then," the doctor replies, going to get the necessary materials. It could be a bit though, it is a hospital.
I don't really like it here, it looks sad and boring. Kris and Alice are talking, but I don't really care what they're talking about.
It's a while later when the doctor gets back, and I've almost dozed off by then.
"Alright, we'll be starting with a blood test, then moving onto a few different scans to see inside her. Alright?" Once again directed at Kris, who agrees.
Getting my blood drawn isn't an issue, though when we get past that I have to do an x-ray. I never really liked those.
They all eventually manage to 'convince' me to get it, more so don't give me a choice, and I get an x-ray.
The results are as expected, it looks like my other x-rays from around this age, except for my pelvis being a little wider and some parts of my bone seeming to have been removed or warped.
The removed parts are easier to see, as there's small bone shards around where it crushed into itself. Oddly, there is no fractures anywhere.
After that, the doctor seems more inclined to believe who I am, and the blood work gets back.
I dont really know what any of the stuff is, but everything matches up exactly with my most recent bloodwork from my birthday, except for there being some unknown chemicals added apparently. Well, and hormones they say girls have.
That seems to convince the hospital that I'm me, but doesn't give me any answers. No one knows what's going on, and there's even more questions now.
Since they don't know what's going on, and I'm still healthy, they just give Kris an updated perception for my ADHD. Which is nice. Then, we go back to his house.
I am perfectly fine on the way home, I get to see lots of colorful things go by again, and I even get a chocolate bar from the store we go to on the way home! I don't remember why we stopped at the store though.
When we get home, it's around eleven in the morning. I guess I slept through breakfast. I go back to my usual day since everything is supposed to be okay. I feel a lot lighter than usual though. I wonder why.
Not long later, Alice comes into my room and says, "Rick, its time for lunch."
I quickly get up from my toys. "What's for lunch?" I ask, then get startled by my voice. 'Oh yeah... girl now... ish.'
"We're having chicken, now come on," she just picks me up, which I accept, and get carried down to the table.
During lunch, I get to take my medicine. I completely forgot about it before... it doesn't seem to do anything though, but I don't mention that. It might just need time.
Kris also mentions to Alice that I'm "not the first case of this," and that people are trying to figure out whose doing this.
I thought I was just getting up from a nap today, so who knows whats the cause.
Maybe I'll figure something out by my next birthday, it might not be permanent. Besides, my birthday is only a few months away now... probably. I don't remember today's date. It should be soon though.
A few months pass and it's my birthday again. I wake up as an older kid. I might be a preteen actually, the evidence of that being very, very clear, as I'm still a girl.
So now, instead of being me, I'm probably going to start having periods or something. I don't actually know much about girls puberty, or much else about them either.
Well, about me, not just them now.
I sigh to myself, I can't even take my medicine because I need a new dosage. So, I just go to take a morning shower, might as well.
The shower is a little awkward for obvious reasons, but I manage, then dry off and wrap up in a towel. After that I go to find Alice to see if she has clothes I can borrow. If not, today gets just a little worse.
I eventually find her down the hall, in her room. Usually Kris would be there too, but he managed to go down to barely being one year old, if that, on his birthday just over a month ago. Alice's birthday was around three months ago, and she's in her mid twenties.
I knock on her door, and it is soon opened by her.
"...oh, I guess you didn't luck out like you wanted, Rick. Need clothes I'm guessing?" Alice says, then adds, "Yoy might want to consider a name change if this is permanent."
I shake my head at that suggestion. "Just clothes please. ...And maybe help getting them on. I haven't worn a bra or anything like it before..." the second part I say a bit more quietly.
She gives me a smile, ushering me into the room. "I can help with whatever you need, it's not like it's your fault you're like this," Alice says. She's always been considerate, even if we hardly hang out.
submitted by nmbjbo to nmbjbo [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 04:31 Doldrey77 29 [m4f] NC/USA looking for someone to talk to and maybe more

Hey I am 29, from central NC, and am looking for someone from about 24 to 36. I do want to have a relationship but just have people to talk to is fine.
I feel like I am your average redditer in that I like to play video games, watch stuff on Netflix, and some nerdy thing it would be better to learn about these things and others by just chatting. I dont like or dislike cooking really but I do know how to do it so I don't starve. I sometimes like to do some active activities such as the batting cages or the driving range. I did do paintball and some obstacle course races but I think if I tried to do that now I would die. I work in IT so I sit in a chair most of the time now compared to when I worked construction.
Due to covid I have not been doing to much like most people but i do have a dog and are planning to get another one soon. The one I have now is a Shar-Pei and she is so cute. I just got done training her to use a doggy door which to longer the i thought it would. Now I have the problem of when its time to go into her kennel she will shoot out the door into the backyard haha.
Hmm what else. Well when it comes to hiking I can take it or leave it. I don't know why hiking is something everyone on dating app and stuff like to say that they are into but whatever. I don't drink any but I like to go out to eat, go to bars sometimes, and out to events. I was going to go to this renaissance fair a little ways away but covid canceled that which sucked.
Ok i guess that's all for me. As for what I am looking for I want to be attracted to the person I am talking to but I can't really but a look to it. I dont mind if you are short or tall, skinny or curvy, or stuff like that. So i can't say what I am looking for in that aspect. But I want someone smart and fun to talk. Someone who has goals or a direction in life. Can be funny and easy going but know when to be serious. Thats all I can think of to say in this post. Here are some pictures of me.
http://imgur.com/a/10bO0zt
http://imgur.com/a/L1rlosH
Oh and yes I am using my dog as bait. Her names cutie.
submitted by Doldrey77 to ForeverAloneDating [link] [comments]


2020.10.29 02:56 Doldrey77 29 [m4f] NC/USA looking for someone to talk to and maybe more

Hey I am 29, from central NC, and am looking for someone from about 24 to 36. I do want to have a relationship but just have people to talk to is fine.
I feel like I am your average redditer in that I like to play video games, watch stuff on Netflix, and some nerdy thing it would be better to learn about these things and others by just chatting. I dont like or dislike cooking really but I do know how to do it so I don't starve. I sometimes like to do some active activities such as the batting cages or the driving range. I did do paintball and some obstacle course races but I think if I tried to do that now I would die. I work in IT so I sit in a chair most of the time now compared to when I worked construction.
Due to covid i have not been doing to much like most people but i do have a dog and are planning to get another one soon. The one I have now is a Shar-Pei and she is so cute. I just got done training her to use a doggy door which to longer the i thought it would. Now I have the problem of when its time to go into her kennle she will shoot out the door into the backyard haha.
Hmm what else. Well when it comes to hiking I can take it or leave it. I don't know why hiking is something everyone on dating app and stuff like to say that they are into but whatever. I don't drink any but I like to go out to eat, go to bars sometimes, and out to events. I was going to go to this renaissance fair a little ways away but covid canceled that which sucked.
Ok i guess that's all for me. As for what I am looking for i want to be attracted to the person I am talking to but I can't really but a look to it. I dont mind if you are short or tall, skinny or curvy, or stuff like that. So i can't say what I am looking for in that aspect. But I want someone smart and fun to talk. Someone who has goals or a direction in life. Can be funny and easy going but know when to be serious. Thats all I can think of to say in this post. Here are some pictures of me.
http://imgur.com/a/10bO0zt
http://imgur.com/a/L1rlosH
Oh and yes I am using my dog as bait. Her names cutie.
submitted by Doldrey77 to r4r [link] [comments]